Tag Archive | "president"

BREAKING NEWS: Woman Claims Trump Didn’t Grope Her


A woman from Broken Springs, Michigan has come forward to insist that Donald Trump has not groped her, despite many opportunities to do so. Allison McGregor, a 47-year-old housekeeper who used to work at Trump’s Mar-o Lago hotel/resort in Florida, told Fox News today that the real estate broker used to visit the hotel at least once a week and on exactly zero occasions did he sexually assault her. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Politics, Strange People, Top StoriesComments (0)

President Replaces Hand Shake w/ Fist Bump


Washington D.C.-When President Barack Obama meets with leaders of foreign nations, he will now use a fist bump as a greeting, that according to a White House Press Release.

Reporters asked the President to elaborate during a round of golf early this afternoon. “I have seen Putin leave the restroom without washing his hands. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Politics, SocietyComments (0)

Yes I Can! President Obama Decides to Become Kindergarten Chanter


When President Obama’s presidency finishes, he won’t be out of a job. Well, he might be out of a job before his Presidency finishes, if the Republicans succeed in impeaching him.

Still, the President says that whenever he leaves the Oval Office, he’s going to use skills he has already required on-the-job, in order to further advance his career.

So, look at what he has to say about this: Read the full story

Share

Posted in Education, Kidz ZoneComments (0)

President Obama Orchestrates Worst Trade in History of Trades


Washington, D.C. – Most people consider the Boston Red Sox trade of future baseball god Babe Ruth for a cash loan to finance the No, No, Nanette musical to be the worst trade of all time. But No, No, Nanette, we have a new winner.

Over the weekend, President Obama approved the trade of a captured war deserter who may have become radicalized by our enemy in exchange for five known, high-ranking terrorists so they can get back on the battlefield again. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

President Obama Promotes Healthcare.gov with Jackass-Style Stunt Reel


WASHINGTON, D.C.—“I’m Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States of America, and this is Jackass.”

So begins the president’s latest viral video—a 22-minute series of dangerous and immature stunts styled after the MTV show “Jackass.”

The video is a bold new attempt to convince young Americans to sign up for health insurance at Healthcare.gov before the March 31 deadline. Read the full story

Share

Posted in HealthComments (2)

A Low Point for President Jesus


WASHINGTON – It has been a tough couple of months for President Jesus in the wake of the problem-plagued launch of the government’s HumanKindness.gov website and continuing criticism of his efforts to address the issues of unemployment and poverty in the United States.

House and Senate Republicans continued to pound the president over the implementation of his administration’s signature Love Thy Neighbor Act, commonly referred to as Jesuscare. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

Obama to cut education funding in “polarizing” move


In a highly polarizing move, President Obama announced he is using his executive powers to cut federal education funding by 50% in order to install polarized windows in the White House.

When reached for comment, President Obama said:

“In order to better serve our country, I need to have a clearer view of our future.”

Read the full story

Share

Posted in News In Your Briefs, PoliticsComments (0)

Forgetful Bush ‘Still Occasionally Turning Up to White House Unannounced’


WASHINGTON D.C. – Sources in Washington D.C. have confirmed that former U.S. President George W. Bush is still forgetfully turning up to the White House unnanounced. He was seen this morning idly walking around the grounds of the White House, apparently forgetful of the fact that he no longer lives there.

Waving to tourists and press photographers, Bush was seen walking his dog Barney around the White House Lawn this morning, just days after several news networks reported that a grey haired Caucasian man was spotted trying to wedge open a window to the Diplomatic Reception Room. Read the full story

Share

Posted in Politics, Strange PeopleComments (1)

Video Game Review: Presidential Drone Hit List


Summary

Presidential Drone Hit List makes you work to find the people you’re supposed to kill, but the job of doing so is relatively easy and without risk.

RIGHT: Presidential Drone Hit List (CLICK TO ENLARGE) Read the full story

Share

Posted in War ZoneComments (4)

Obama Resigns… Almost


In a surprise announcement, Barack Obama has decided to step down. Foregoing the balance of his second term, the President will pass on the executive reins of government to his vice president, Joe Biden.

Obama revealed his decision during his latest Sunday radio address. After outlining a progressive agenda for the next four years, he sighed and simply said that he didn’t have the patience or will to carry through with those plans. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

Romney Denies He’s a Crybaby


Defeated Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney denies he is a crybaby.

“Yes, I lost the election,” said Romney. “But there are reasons why I lost, many of them relating to the gifts Obama gave to blacks, Hispanics and young people to win their votes. But I’m no crybaby.”

President Obama offered to meet with his defeated rival to discuss some of Romney’s ideas to help the country. However, Mr. Romney has refused that offer. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (4)

Romney and Obama Both Concede


GlossyNews.com – GlossyNews has learned that the presidential candidates of the two major parties have both decided to concede the election. Partly for reasons unknown, but mostly to spare the American people the frustration of waiting for the results.

Since they had both prepared their speeches in advance and were waiting for Wheel of Fortune to finish, I was able to do a short interview with each of them via SMS text to their cell phones: Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

Biden Wins Debate With Tale of High School Football Game


DANVILLE, KENTUCKY- The Vice Presidential debate was a dramatic stage set for two men who would be a heart beat away from the highest office. It culminated in a speech by Vice President Biden, about a high school football game in which he excelled.

“So there we were, end of the fourth quarter, third and long. Any other team would have given up, but not us,” explained Biden as he looked in to the camera.

Paul Ryan was seen looking aimlessly in to the eyes of Joe Biden, as he tried finding a valid argument as to the relevance of the anecdote. There was none to be had. The nation had been seduced by the story, including Romney’s running mate. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

Mitt Romney Can’t Possibly Be That Dumb! – Reaction From England


As the election campaign gathers pace, and the Republican Party appear to be exposing their inherent incompetency, a British correspondent expressed utter disbelief that any candidate for the Presidency, without doubt the most influential position in the world, could possibly be as idiotic as Mitt Romney.

“You’re kidding me! Right? Please tell me you’re joking. A candidate for the Presidency fails to grasp that you can’t open windows on an aircraft to let a bit of fresh air in?” asked Martin Shuttlecock, of Skoob News International. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (3)

Romney’s Tax Records Show He’s Working for President Obama


WASHINTON D.C.- The Romeny campaign had contested showing Mitt’s 2011 returns for so long, and once released, every one understood why.

Mitt Romney had been on the Obama campaign’s payroll for quite some time.

“Mitt did a really good job acting like he was a serious contender for the presidency,” explains David Axlerod.

“I think recently, it became apparent that he was actually working for us. I mean, what candidate would have so many gaffes if he didn’t work for the other team?” Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (3)

Mitt Ryan Picks Paul Romney for VP; and a Political Bromance Blossoms


In one of the most romantic scenes since Gosling kissed McAdams in the rain, former governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts offered Congressman Paul Ryan of Wisconsin his hand in political matrimony.

Not only did Governor Romney offer Ryan a place at his side, he solidified his commitment by offering his name too. Congressman Ryan was so overwhelmed by the gesture, that he immediately did the same. Read the full story

Share

Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

Page 1 of 212
Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial