#1 Spicy Takes!
Hilarious press conferences are the Spicer of life!
(Or at least they used to be).
#2 Alternative Facts
In the endless benighted millenial BT (Before Trump), alternative facts were stigmatized as ‘lies.’ Now, we are more tolerant than we used to be, and more prepared to celebrate intellectual diversity.
#3 Long-Awaited Neocon Revival
He’s restoring the glory of the Bush years! No more cowardly isolationism… What could possibly go wrong?!
#4 Bringing Back Media Integrity & Standards
He’s been taking on CNN, the New York Times and Washington Post; now real reliable media like Fox News and MSNBC can fill the gap instead!
#5 Oh, and if all else fails…
At least he still hasn’t built any concentration camps yet for illegal aliens!
What about the rest?
Sorry to say, but the other five reasons are FAKE NEWS!
I’m sure you’ll get over it…