Tag Archive | "Mitch McConnell"

Trumpenstein Horror Now Threatens Republicans


A Rathskeller deep in the forested woods. Night has drawn its blackest curtain across the outer world, blocking out even the niggardly light from the stars.

Rain hammers against the windows and lightning cackles in the air.

A troupe of men with faces that seek the shadows meet in a corner booth away from the gazes of the other inn patrons.

They speak in cautious whispers that they wish no other ears to intrude upon: Read the full story

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Obama Apologizes For Post-election Hubris


Barack Obama has reportedly done a complete about face. Having encountered widespread criticism for the tough stance he took in his post-electoral press conference, the President has decided to take a more conciliatory approach with his Republican opponents.

“I’m really sorry about last Wednesday,” said Obama.

“The fact of the matter is I inadvertently switched speech texts and mistakenly brought along part of one about dealing with terrorists to the press conference.” Read the full story

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SCANDAL!- Many Republicans Found To Be Hooked On Koch!


A shocking report has reached news desks throughout the country that many Republicans, especially those in great positions of responsibility, are hooked on Koch.

Koch, which first made it appearance in the 40’s, has become more virulent in recent years. It is highly addictive and those who become hooked on it quickly develop selfish, anti-social behavior.

Unlike heroin, meth or crack the user does not develop the degenerative physical attributes that readily mark the abuser as a junkie. Read the full story

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Mitch McConnell Totally “¿Amores?” Minority Voters


Another Mitch McConnell campaign video Fact-Checked, another one rated 100% True!, depending on how you feel about beige people.

We’ve already fact-checked his Mitch McConnell Supports Women and Mitch Supports your Big Business of Every size, and found them to be true, so this comes as no surprise. Read the full story

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Fact-Check: Mitch McConnell Really Supports Your Big Business; TRUE!


Washington outsider and regular everyman Mitch McConnell, Republican senator from Kentucky, has an ad claiming he supports big business, but does he really? Fact-Check: YES!

It turns out, true to his claims, Mitch McConnell really does stand up for mega businesses and the interests of his billionaire donors.

If you’re a billionaire donor, or billionaire potential donor, all signs say this turtle-American senator is fully for sale. Read the full story

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Mitch McConnell TV Ad Fact-Checked: TRUE


Washington outsider and advocate for change Mitch McConnell took a bold step this year, effectively crowd-sourcing his campaign commercials to the drooling masses.

This inspired strike of utter genius can best be described as “SmarTarded™” in a way Kentuckians may best be remembered. Read the full story

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Mitch McConnell Ad Begs Mockery, Gets it in Spades #mcconnelling


The internet fad of the week is #mcconnelling, a little game contrived on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. McConnell released a blank stock video of himself so his SuperPAC could later pretend they didn’t ask for it, but now it’s a thing of legend.

The original ad, featured in The Daily Show clip below, gives all the background you need. Read the full story

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Video NewsComments (2)

Mitch McConnell’s Public Jobs Program Puts on Happy Face


In a stunning about face on public sector financed job programs, the minority leader of the senate, Republican Mitch McConnell, offered a new program that he believes can be started following the eviction of the Obama family in January 2013.

The program is designed to put more private sector contractors to work within the Washington, DC area and to also help local small retailers prosper. Because he will list this program as an “emergency measure”, equal opportunity rules can also be suspended allowing RNC donors their first chance at a federal project. Read the full story

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Lab Results Show Hot Dogs Contain Extra Lips, No A**holes


A team of research scientists from Kentucky State University have concluded a year-long study of the average American hot dog to determine once and for all if they are, in fact, made from lips and a**holes. The results indicate that hot dogs do indeed contain pig lips but the scientists could find no trace of a**holes.

KSU received a grant last year in the amount of $1.2 million dollars to conduct the study on standard hot dogs winning out over grant applications by Colorado State University for the study of mating habits of the Colorado River piranha, Read the full story

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