Defeated Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney denies he is a crybaby.

“Yes, I lost the election,” said Romney. “But there are reasons why I lost, many of them relating to the gifts Obama gave to blacks, Hispanics and young people to win their votes. But I’m no crybaby.”

President Obama offered to meet with his defeated rival to discuss some of Romney’s ideas to help the country. However, Mr. Romney has refused that offer. Read the full story

Worchester, MA – Esther Urville, manager at Norbert’s Garden Shop, too frazzled to brown bag her lunch this morning, ran to the local deli on her lunch hour. While placing her order, she was reminded, to her chagrin, of the election just passed.

“I wanted a roast beef sandwich, with pepperoni, black olives, onions, red peppers and three slices of swiss cheese without too many holes in them,” Mrs. Urville said. “When I ordered, they looked at me funny and said the only options were vegetarian or B.L.T. My first thought was how much it was like voting.” Read the full story

GlossyNews.com – This election year has seen a surge in early voting as more and more states allow for this convenient option, while others have restricted the hell out of it.

Both the Obama and Romney camps had hoped that early voting would give them an edge. Much to everyone’s surprise, however, exit polls show that the early leader in pre-election balloting is the empty chair from the Republican National Convention. Read the full story

GlossyNews.com – GlossyNews has learned that the presidential candidates of the two major parties have both decided to concede the election. Partly for reasons unknown, but mostly to spare the American people the frustration of waiting for the results.

Since they had both prepared their speeches in advance and were waiting for Wheel of Fortune to finish, I was able to do a short interview with each of them via SMS text to their cell phones: Read the full story

GlossyNews.com – Television ads have been running furiously in swing states like Iowa, Ohio, Florida, New Hampshire, Old Hampshire and Colorado, but one new ad hit the airwaves last night. The GOP sponsored “Why Vote?” campaign, paid for by Romney Victory Inc.

The ad starts with a woman at her table, sorting through what looks like bills. You hear a baby crying in the background and a man yelling at her from off camera in Spanish. Read the full story

By President Barack Obama

My fellow Americans,

Next Tuesday, November 6, is Election Day, and this year your vote is more important than ever before. That’s because in this election you have a choice between two very different visions for America.

One of those visions believes that ours is a country where everyone should have a fair shot at success and where everyone should pay their fair share of taxes. Read the full story

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney today unveiled his new plan to persuade female voters to back his bid for the White House by showing them two things that have thus far remained firmly hidden: his compassionate, caring side and his vintage 1947 sexual organ.

He is hoping this strategy will win over voters who have so far been put off by policies that have been deemed as cold and uncaring, as well as those that will “get their kicks” from seeing photographic evidence of Romney’s “schlong”. Read the full story

The right of money to decide elections is being tested in Richmond, California (pop. 105,000), a suburb of San Francisco and Oakland. In a clear rebuke to American-style democracy, millions of dollars from huge corporations may prove inadequate to win the election for the corporate candidates.

RIGHT: Plucky megacorporations Chevron and American Beverage Association take on powerful grassroots activists Marilyn Langlois and Eduardo Martinez in Richmond, California. (CLICK TO ENLARGE) Read the full story

In what seems to be a continual effort by the Obama administration, an accusation of pandering to special interest groups has again been leveled at the campaign of failed Gov. Mitt Romney.

His willingness to change his appearance to match his audience, which was first noticed during an interview on Univision, was even more pronounced today.

The accusation comes from a stop that former Gov. Romney made at a Jewish community center in Tampa, FL, late this afternoon.

RIGHT: Gov. Romney pandering? You decide. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

Several people who were at the rally said that he seemed like he belonged in their community and that his statements lined up exactly with what they felt needed to be done to those damn palestinians. Read the full story

Last week the big news for the 2012 presidential election was the worse-than-expected performance of President Obama in his match-up with former Governor, and Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney. Although Obama was able to firmly demonstrate that he did have a pulse, little else was evident from his reaction to the many contradictory statements made by his opponent.

That debate was the big match on the ticket for all debates in this election cycle and the undercard of the vice-presidential debate would not normally warrant much attention. Both of the vice-presidential candidates offer something unique to this cycle, one locked into a conservative mantra that leaves out all but the upper 1%, and one who can’t seem to keep his foot out of his mouth whenever the spotlight is shined upon him. Read the full story

The first presidential debate has inspired Romney campaign officials to change their overall strategy in order to gain a higher percentage of the upcoming vote.

After demonstrating his ability to completely drop previous positions, and offer new policies without concern of being able to deliver them, the campaign intends to continue to use this method over the remaining weeks of the campaign to break new ground and old promises.

While this will leave Gov. Romney with literally no true policy positions to offer in a post election victory, previous statements were so devoid of actual details that his senior strategists don’t foresee any issues with this new strategy.

Contacted on the campaign trail, top Romney advisor Ed Gillespie could not contain his excitement about finally finding the key to turning this election cycle around.

“We have always felt that the policies that were offered by our candidate were too focused on the conservative element of the electorate. The new policies that Gov. Romney is offering appeal to a wider cross section of the voting public. We were running without any specifics anyway so this is just a natural evolution toward total lack of detail.”

It remains to be seen if this will actually allow Gov. Romney to win the presidential election, but knowing that they never would have won otherwise it is a zero risk approach.

Recent polls show a swing towards Gov. Romney on the voter approval questions and this can be easily associated with his relaxed appearance as he describes various plans that he has no intention of implementing. As long as he can continue to avoid questions on the impact of the policies he may well have found his game changer.

He’s every kid’s favorite bird. Big Bird has been a staple on American television since 1969. So it was no surprise that many Americans became upset when Mitt Romney made public his plan to fire the icon.

We met at the aptly named Sesame Street Restaurant and Big Bird laid out the ground rules. I can’t ask him about his parents and he wants me to read a book to some kids after the interview.

What followed was one of the most shocking yet meaningful interviews I’ve ever participated in. Read the full story

With the election heating up and the polls wiggling more and more every day (in favor of Barack Obama), we have to look ever more closely at the race.

The good news is that, at least according to a couple polls, the race is tied, and Mitt Romney could easily pull it out and win this thing. The better news is that, according to all the real polls, Obama is crushing it. Read the full story

WASHINGTON D.C.- Political insiders have confirmed that not only is republican candidate, Mitt Romney, debating president Obama on Wednesday, but he is still running for president.

Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan met a group of supporters for a fund raiser, announcing that they will still be in the running for the white house all the way up until November 6th.

“People can’t count us out until the election is over,” explains Matt Rhodes, campaign advisor to Mitt Romney.

“I know the country wouldn’t quite pick that up over the past couple of weeks, but we have been hard at work over in the Romney camp trying to adequately prepare a game plan to let America know that we are here until election day.” Read the full story

WASHINTON D.C.- The Romeny campaign had contested showing Mitt’s 2011 returns for so long, and once released, every one understood why.

Mitt Romney had been on the Obama campaign’s payroll for quite some time.

“Mitt did a really good job acting like he was a serious contender for the presidency,” explains David Axlerod.

“I think recently, it became apparent that he was actually working for us. I mean, what candidate would have so many gaffes if he didn’t work for the other team?” Read the full story

WASHINGTON D.C. – Attempting to deflect growing criticism following a leaked video allegedly showing him alienating “47%” of the American electorate, Mitt Romney today addressed the issue, declaring: “Obama is ruining this great nation.”

Mr. Romney came under fire Monday after a video surfaced on the alternative news site MotherJones.com in which he appeared to say: “[M]y job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives,” to which he emphatically responded: “Things are much worse than they were four years ago under this president.” Read the full story