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From the desk of the Cood Day TOTed President Donald John TRUMP!
Yesterday morning I ordered all federal state and local Republican Politicians to kill themselves by sticking a shotgun in their mouths and pulling the trigger where their FAMILIES CAN FIND THEM! There nothing but gutless coward Rinos!! SO WHAT I…
Ivanka Trump Launches ‘Vanka’s Pop-Up Elite Ultra-Right Insurrection
Club’
While ex-president and self-declared greatest man that ever lived, DonaldTrump, sulks and skulks in his palatial Florida mansion, his favourite wife /daughter, Ivanka, has yet again astounded the world with her insatiable greed.Her ability to prize cash from the super-rich…
Have you ever heard of the Trumps?
SLUDGE INTERNET NEWS January 25, 2031 “Have you ever heard of the Trumps?” Gene, my editor, blew his stack when I asked to write a story about them. “Who wants to read about a couple of rednecks living in…
Trump Summarizes Selected Works of Shakespeare
Hamlet This is the story of a king, a great king, who was doing a marvelous job running his country. Until a very bad, very disgraceful person put a stop to it. His name was Claudius, and the whack job…
Trump Pardons Unabomber
Florida, 9amIn a move certain to appeal to his base, Donald Trump has issued an official Presidential pardon to “Mathematical Genius” Ted Kaczynsky. “I give a full pardon to Ted, unfairly labelled a Unabomber by the fake news media. I know…
BREAKING: Trump Social Media Blackout Reaches 100% As OnlyFans Issues The President LIFETIME BAN
Internet sex work giant, subscription service, and simp-haven OnlyFans has permanently banned President Trump from utilizing its website. In a statement released on January 9th, the company wrote, “In light of the recent railing of our precious democracy by rioters,…
Trump Uses Taxpayer’s Money to Pay for His Latest Portrait
It was revealed today that the outgoing self-proclaimed greatest ever American president, Donald Trump, has spent $2bn of US taxpayers’ money on a portrait of himself. The portrait was commissioned yesterday evening and was completed within fifteen minutes by New…
Ivanka Trump Opens New Pop-Up Celebrity Covid Vaccination Clinic
News that the ex-president’s wife / daughter, Ivanka, has jumped on the Covid bandwagon to make a fast buck from it came as no surprise to the hastily assembled press pack summoned to The White House this morning. Instead of…
Satan Buys Pardon from Trump for $8bn
In a ‘not very surprising’ move it was revealed today that outgoing president and all-round shithouse Donald Trump has agreed to issue the devil with a presidential pardon. The full and complete pardon will be rushed through ahead of Trump’s…
Trump to Take Starring Role in New Marvel Movie ‘The Incredible Sulk’
Those that lie awake at night worrying about what will happen to Donald Trump when he is dragged kicking and screaming from The White House in January can at last get some shut eye. A spokesperson for Walt Disney Studios,…