Search Results for: obama
Vamonos: Obama Gives Arizona Back to Mexico
TEMPE, Arizona (GlossyNews) — In a move of political bravado termed “Operation Andale”, U.S President Barack Obama has signed an executive order handing Arizona back to Mexico, creating a stampede of Mexicans into bordering U.S. States. While the white citizens…
Obama Misses Asses, Falls Flat on His Own
WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) -– Americans were buoyed last week when President Obama declared he was ready to kick ass over the BP oil spill, fully expecting him to go out immediately and find whose ass to kick. However, even with…
Obama Ready to Open Big Can of Whup Ass
NEW YORK, New York (GlossyNews) -– Talking like he was getting ready for the biggest basketball game of his life, President Barack Obama made it perfectly clear Tuesday morning on the Today Show that he is contemplating opening that big…
Obama Hires Nigerian to Enact Wall Street Reforms
WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — President Obama, in a move to gain public trust after a series of disastrous missteps over his symbiotic relationship with Wall Street, has hired a Nigerian barrister to enforce newly proposed Wall Street regulations.
Obama Inspires Oil Spill to Clean Itself Up
Smelly Corners, LA (GlossyNews) — President Barack Obama’s recent visit to the Gulf Coast was billed as a chance for the Commander in Chief to assess the damage caused by the massive oil spill, but a top White House aid…
Obama Offers Citizenship to Mexicans Who Help Clean Up Oil Spill
Washington D C (GlossyNews) — In a stroke of political genius, President Obama has figured out a way to kill two birds with one oil blob. He has offered full American citizenship to any illegal immigrant who brings a mop,…
Obama Appoints TV Show ‘Doctor’ as Vice President
Washington, DC (GlossyNews) — In a bold bid to rally voter support for healthcare reform and boost Democrats’ election prospects, President Obama announced today the resignation of Vice President Joe Biden and appointment of television actor Patrick Dempsey to replace…
Real Republicans Angry Over Obama’s Gay Rights Initiative
Boston, Mass (GlossyNews) — “Beautiful on the Outside Couple,” Kaitlin Greely and Jonas Applebee, are all over Facebook, Twitter and cell phone networks these days. They are trying to let as many people as possible know they are furious over…
Obama Fails to Appoint Deist to Supreme Court
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — President Obama, refusing to yield to the demands of Tea Party agitators, has once again failed to appoint a Deist to the Supreme Court. Obama has announced that he will nominate Elena Kagan to the court,…
President Obama Detained at Phoenix Airport
Phoenix, AZ (GlossyNews) -– President Barack Obama was detained for a brief period yesterday at the Phoenix, AZ Airport by TSA officials while police determined whether or not to arrest him for not having proper identification with him at the…