Boston, Mass (GlossyNews) — “Beautiful on the Outside Couple,” Kaitlin Greely and Jonas Applebee, are all over Facebook, Twitter and cell phone networks these days. They are trying to let as many people as possible know they are furious over Obama’s latest move toward gay rights in the US that grants hospital visitation rights to gay couples.
In a recent interview with the couple, Applebee, who looks like he stepped off an Abercrombie and Fitch magazine cover, became visibly irritated when asked for his opinion. “We are beyond mad!” stated Applebee, slamming the fist of one hand into the palm of another. “What your Socialist President is doing to our culture and the institution of marriage is terrible. What if I was in the hospital and Kaitlin wanted to visit me and couldn’t get in from all the faggots crowding up the waiting room. What then? Would your President do anything for me? Hell no-he don’t support nothing us normal people want to do. Wait a minute-Hey, Kaitlin-look at that bum over there digging in the trash. Hey, bum! Get a job, you asshole! He’s probably a Democrat.“
“I agree with Jonas” exclaimed Greely, whose flawless beauty made her look like she was air brushed. “Enough is enough. Can’t anyone understand we HATE these people and want them to fucking die?“ “What is so hard about that? Who the fuck did your hair anyway? Oh my God, are those Wal-Mart shoes? This interview is so over.”
As they stepped into their BMW M-6 convertible, Greely turned to Applebee and snapped, “This was a birthday present from my last boyfriend.” A statement that caused Applebee’s handsome face to suddenly flush.