Category: Science & Technologizzy
Breach in Time/Space Continuum Opens Portal to all 9 Circles of Hell, CERN Not Involved
Man recently donned the cloak of Creator and assumed the role of God. His manipulation of ORMEs, the esoteric sciences and applied quantum technologies saw Thomas Moore’s dream bastion of perfection a reality manifested. Utopia Inc., the next best thing…
Apple’s iBoob Set to Break Sales Records
Addressing a press conference at his corporate headquarters in California’s Silicone Valley, Steve Jobs, the company founder of Crapple, announced today that they has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. This is further being considered a…
Robo-Rat: the Future of Service-Free Pets
Worried about getting your youngsters a pet for Christmas – a cuddly kitten or puppy –then face the moral conscience dilemma of having to go and dump it up the arse end of the wilderness a few weeks later –…
Pope to Search Space For New Communicants/Converts
THE VATICAN, Rome — The Pontifical Academy sent out news this week that the Vatican was beginning to search far and wide for new communicants. This seemingly sudden rush to sign up new members follows quickly on the rather poor…
Merry Bloody Christmas with Call of Duty, Modern Warfare
The long wait is finally over for video game aficionados and those chronically addicted and desperate to get their hands on a copy of Call of Duty : Modern Warfare Mk 2 – the festive season’s latest release for a…
Air Phone Becomes Big Concern Of Cell Phone Suppliers
Washington, DC – The “Air phone look” is a person’s left or right arm crooked with the hand touching the ear and lips simultaneously with the thumb and little finger extended, 3 other fingers folded under the palm. Everyone’s doing…
Shameless Saudis on the Green Energy Cadge Make Fools Beyond their Dress(es)
There was a veritable abundance of Third World countries present – and on their usual scrounging missions – at the recent U.N. climate talks in Bangkok. All present were attempting to convince anyone stupid enough to listen that they definitely…
Google to Nationally Publish News Free
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — In a publishing quadruple-whammo punch, Google today announced that it effectively had taken control of the major news corporations in the US not owned by either The New York Times or Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. —…
Middle Kingdom (China) Makes Green Energy 1st, Holds the Lead
Chinese car maker BWB today announced it is about to release a prototype electric vehicle capable of revolutionizing the world of motoring. Senior BWB (Big Wheel Barrow) design engineer Dr. Flip Flop Fong – the man responsible for power steering…
Global Warming Scam B’Gores Millions to Death
The UK faces a “catastrophe” of floods, droughts and killer heatwaves if world leaders fail to agree a deal on climate change, the prime minister will warn. Prime Munster Gordon ‘Cry Wolf’ Broon is set to address the Major Economies…