Category: Music
God and Devil Near Reconciliation; Supergroup to Re-form
Reports indicate Lucifer and the Almighty One may be close to a rapprochement that could bring Satan back to Heaven in a yet undisclosed role. St. Mark, spokesman for the Heavenly press office, continues to state that Lucifer left of…
Rap Bludgeoned by Ninja
CAPE TOWN, South Africa (GlossyNews) — Having been an astronaut, toymaker, and motivational speaker, Ninja boasts an unusually long resume for a white man. He was making his rounds through the slums of Cape Town, South Africa, where he worked for the liquor company Jagermeister by distributing its contaminated byproducts to disadvantaged minorities in an effort to cut down on waste management costs, when a chance encounter inspired him to start the rave-rap trio Die Antwoord.
Bono Undergoes Emergency Back Surgery for ‘Atlas Syndrome’
MUNICH, Germany (GlossyNews) — U2 front man Bono underwent emergency back surgery on May 21, 2010, while preparing for the American leg of the band’s “360 Degree” international tour. U2, having sold an estimated 150 million records, is arguably the…
Walmart Pulls “Rock Band – Def Leppard Edition” Over Missing Drum Stick
TEXARKANA, TX (GlossyNews) — Thousands of angry fans flooded the phone lines and email servers of MTV/Electronic Arts and its retailers with complaints over today’s release of the eagerly anticipated “Rock Band – Def Leppard Edition” game. The issue stems…
Man Ejected from Christian Rock Concert for Gesturing “Devil Horns”
OSHKOSH, WI (GlossyNews) — A local 18-year-old, Mark Edwards, was ejected from the Life Fest Christian Rock Festival this past weekend for displaying a rude gesture during one of the band’s performances. “I was watching Crossroads, and man, they we’re…
Elton John Calls Jesus Gay, Muslims Enraged
LONDON, U.K. (GlossyNews) — Elton John, no stranger to controversy, made news again this week when he called Jesus of Nazareth gay in an interview with Parade Magazine. The statement angered many practicing Christians around the world. Catholic League President…
The Smiths Reunite After 23 Years for New Album
LONDON, UK (GlossyNews) — Alternative music pioneers Morrissey and Johnny Marr, co-founders of The Smiths, have announced the long-awaited reunion of the band. The Smiths were an English rock group formed in Manchester in 1982, driven by the songwriting partnership…
Blues Legend “Deaf Willie” Johnson Dies
HAZLEHURST, MS (GlossyNews) — Sources close to GlossyNews confirm that today one of the most influential voices in Delta Blues has gone to heaven. Or so we hope. The oldest child of sharecroppers Sam and Thelma Johnson, “Deaf Willie” never…
Alan Jackson’s Problem w/ World Geography Spurs Reform in Georgia Schools
NEWNAN, GA — In a report issued by the Institute of Southern Studies, teachers in the South have become the largest casualties of the recession. According to researchers, the study “finds that many schools, especially in the South, are slashing…
Lil Wayne’s Got Court – Saved by Blingy Chompers
NEW YORK, NY – American rapper Lil Wayne was saved from prison by the teeth figuratively and literally. Born Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr., the spoken word artiste, spoke to the media about the dramatic turn of events. “Jus’ a couple…