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Nightmares Prompt Kim Jong-un to Take Up Zumba

Nightmares Prompt Kim Jong-un to Take Up Zumba

Apparently, fear of his dead father is resurfacing in a big way and has been keeping N. Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-un up nights for well over a year now.

The leader is said to be suffering from an ongoing bout of the vapors, leaving him feeling puny and out of sorts.

A recurring nightmare finds the North Korean leader face-to-face with his not-so-dead father who is taking the pudgy little tyrant to task for not being such a tyrant after all. Continue Reading

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Japanese Encouraged to Get Laid More

Japanese Encouraged to Get Laid More

Faced with a declining birth rate and an ever growing elderly population, Japanese citizens are being encouraged to have more sex.

“Japanese men and women seemed to have lost interest in sex!” said prominent Japanese legislative leader Seiko Noda. “We need to stimulate the people’s interest in sex before the whole country disappears!”

Noda proposes a government sponsored “get laid now” campaign to stimulate the libido of Japanese citizens. Under the proposal, citizens will be provided with erotic literature, sexy lingerie, lubricating lotions, edible panties, fishnet stocking and bondage equipment such as whips and chains.

“We will not provide condoms or French Ticklers because that would defeat the whole purpose!” Noda explained.

In a recent survey 38% of Japanese men and 39% of Japanese women between the ages of 18 and 34 admit they have never had sex at all.

“I’ve had a couple of blow jobs”, said 28 year old Shinjo Ichikawa. “But I have never put my dick in a vagina”.

Experts claim that Japanese women simply aren’t interested in the tiny penises Japanese men have in relation to white or black men.

“I just like to play with myself”, said 24 year old Akiko Shonokane. “I have a career. I don’t have time for little Japanese penises. And it’s so hard to find a gaijin (foreigner)”.

“We may have to open our doors to foreigners in order to interest more women in sex’, said Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.

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Free Speech Freaks Given New Hope in Ribbing North Korea

Free Speech Freaks Given New Hope in Ribbing North Korea

Prominent, but still sub-viral site GlossyNews.com has launched a Go Fund Me campaign to create a free-to-dowload video criticizing the regime.

The goal is to create a wicked, biting satirical film criticizing the totalitarian dynastic regime in North Korea.

The film would feature paid actors, paid crew and a tight production schedule. Continue Reading

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Kim Jong-un: Bring Back Breadsticks Or Die

Kim Jong-un: Bring Back Breadsticks Or Die

Washington, D.C. – Just when you thought the United States was safe again following the announcement that Sony Pictures had pulled the controversial movie, The Interview, from theatres, a new threat arrived from North Korean Leader, Kim Jong-un, early Friday morning.

In a short memo to President Obama, Kim Jong-un stated he was pleased the movie will not play in theatres, but was morbidly infuriated to learn that his favorite restaurant chain, the Olive Garden, is extinct and is no longer serving the fresh-baked breadsticks he enjoyed during his last visit. Continue Reading

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Is Cuba the Next Ping Pong Frontier?

Is Cuba the Next Ping Pong Frontier?

As America’s relations with Cuba are bettered in the near future, many professional sports leagues are excited to pounce on the athletic talent in the small country.

Major League Baseball teams are searching for the new Yasiel Puig or Aroldis Chapman to ignite their teams’ fortunes.

Along with baseball, Cuba is known to possess a plethora of skills in the game of ping pong. United States Table Tennis Federation (USTTF) spokesman Louis Rice is optimistic that there is a lot of “untapped potential” on the island.

The sport is adored by the country’s people, with tables popping up all over the country in recent years.

“They [Cubans] really have the best athletic build and mindset for the rigors of table tennis. I know of many proficient players that are already playing in their semi-pro leagues. We will also set up some camps to train the youth and then get them into our farm systems Rice.”

During the embargo on Cuba, many of the country’s best players had to escape the country illegally to another Latin American country before finally making it to America.

The new lack of risk is sure to encourage the Cubans to immigrate to the U.S. and it’s high-paying league.

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Black Friday – The Evil American Plot To Destroy Britain Is A Success

Black Friday – The Evil American Plot To Destroy Britain Is A Success

Friday, November 28th 2014 will reign as a black day in British history, black not only for the dark deeds done on that day but also for the foul American import that caused them- BLACK FRIDAY!

Long accustomed to importing all new things American, England has finally introduced an epidemic that is proving to be every bit as bad as when the Black Plague was brought in by ships in the 1500’s. Continue Reading

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ISIS Blows Up U.S. Battleships Maine and Lusitania in the Gulf of Tonkin

ISIS Blows Up U.S. Battleships Maine and Lusitania in the Gulf of Tonkin

WASHINGTON – The Pentagon announced today that the Islamic State (ISIS) has blown up two American battleships, the Maine and the Lusitania in the Gulf of Tonkin.

Brigadier General Lance Boyle stated: “ISIS was very foolhardy in using weapons of mass destruction to blow up two American battleships that were peacefully passing through the Gulf of Tonkin on separate humanitarian missions.” Continue Reading

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Kim Jong Takes Un Step Toward Hollywood

Kim Jong Takes Un Step Toward Hollywood

TO: My dear subjects

FROM: Your Supreme Leader, Kim Jong-un

I want to apologize for not informing you of my whereabouts for almost six weeks this past fall and causing you undue heartache and concern but, of course, I cannot.

As I am infallible, apology is not an option for me and I must therefore gently chide you, my children, for needlessly worrying about my brief absence. Continue Reading

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ISIS: The Autistic Brother of Al-Qaeda

ISIS: The Autistic Brother of Al-Qaeda

ISIS: The world’s number one autistic brainchild, the same one which refused to continue living with his older brother, Al-Qaeda, is now in some deep trouble with the United States and Russia.

After beheading a journalist in the lands of SandVillage, their only option for attention was death. Geez, talk about needy.

To make things worse, the group continued with a follow-up decapitation video personally sent to Prince Barack Obama of Nigeria. A representative of the White House spoke with the press regarding this issue stating: Continue Reading

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“Yucky World” w/ Dick & Janey: Russian spy embedded in Obama White House

“Yucky World” w/ Dick & Janey: Russian spy embedded in Obama White House

Announcer: This is a “Yucky World” Special! Talk show hosts Dick and Janey will not be saying much today. We’ll be listening instead to a secretly recorded conversation in which a deep cover Russian agent known as Putzy, embedded in the Obama administration as a foreign policy expert, is being debriefed by Bob, his handler.

Dick: This is serious stuff, folks!

Janey: Our source, who has security clearances at the highest levels, has chosen to remain anonymous.

Dick: You may wonder why he would leak this to us.

Janey: Think: Bengazi, the IRS’s lost emails, Fast and Furious, bin Laden’s hundreds of thousands of never released documents, the Sergeant Bergdahl trade due to his “poor” health…

Dick: …Obama’s college records!

Janey: Dick, please.

Dick: Well, even George W. Bush released his!

Janey: True, but maybe he had better grades. Let’s listen to the debriefing.
_ _ _ _ _
Bob: You were absolutely right about his ego!

Putzy: Thank you, sir, but Obama made it easy. All you had to do was listen to him. In his victory speech in June of 2008, he said that his nomination would mark “the moment when the rise of the oceans begin to slow and our planet began to heal…”

Bob: Dr. Obama, ready to save the world!

Putzy: In the next month he went even further. He said that his becoming president “is the moment…that the world is waiting for…”

Bob: So was Prime Minister Putin!

Putzy: And your follow up was brilliant, sir.

Bob: Spasiba! We used our persuasive powers to convince the Norwegians to give him the Nobel Peace Prize…

Putzy: …For accomplishing nothing.

Bob: Exactly, but then he had to live up to it…and for almost six years Obama thought the best way to achieve that was by doing almost nothing…

Putzy: …That was successful. Which is exactly what happens when you choose to “Lead from behind”.

Bob: How did you convince them to make that their policy?

Putzy: They’re so naïve; they thought it was brilliant.

Bob: But your master stroke was getting Obama to stop the plans to build a missile defense system in Poland and the Czech Republic.

Putzy: Thank you, but deciding to undercut America’s friends and then announcing the change on the day World War II began in Europe was Obama’s idea.

Bob: Has he no sense of history?

Putzy: Obama believes it’s his moment to transform the world, that he is the embodiment of history!

Bob: Unbelievable! And then you got them to dumb-down their policy to “Don’t do stupid stuff!”

Putzy: Right! And that was after I had convinced Hillary to actually give a “Reset” button to Foreign Minister Lavrov.

Bob: Lavrov got a big kick out of the wrong word being used for “reset”! And, of course, Putin has been doing all the actual resetting…of boundaries.

Putzy: The Crimea and eastern Ukraine today! Who knows what tomorrow!! After all, Obama did tell President Medvedev that he would have “more flexibility” after he was elected in 2012.

Bob: Well, spinelessness is a form of flexibility. Too bad Obama only has two more years to go.

Putzy: I tried to convince him to work to change the Constitution back to no term limits for the President, that the Republicans had only changed it to hurt Democrats, but Obama wasn’t interested.

Bob: Really!

Putzy: Well, we were out on a golf course and he was trying to line up a putt.

Bob: That’s okay. You’ve had a lot of other successes.

Putzy: Afghanistan is my favorite. Obama was intent on getting all American troops out of Iraq and Afghanistan, but they did need more soldiers in Afghanistan. So, I told Obama when he announced the surge, he should also announce at the same time when the soldiers would start to leave.

Bob: Brilliant!! Nothing like letting your enemy know your future plans! You also did well when Obama trapped himself by drawing a “red line” over Syria’s use of chemical weapons.

Putzy: And, unbelievably, he later followed my suggestion of claiming that he really didn’t draw a red line, that “The world set a red line.”

Bob: That’s when comrade Putin stepped in and negotiated a deal to destroy all of Syria’s chemical weapons.

Putzy: And if you believe that, you will probably also believe that Iran is serious about negotiating away its ability to build nuclear weapons.

Bob: What was even harder to believe was his announcing that he didn’t have a strategy for dealing with the ISIS terrorists.

Putzy: I keep encouraging him not to use a teleprompter so he will make more unforced errors. The weaker he looks, the better for us. I mean, who wants to be in a coalition with someone who leads from behind without a strategy.

Bob: Your “Spike the ball” tactic has also provided a gold mine of information.

Putzy: With Obama, it’s all about politics. He and Hillary didn’t even deny that they had voted against Bush’s surge in Iraq for political reasons. When it came to killing bin Laden, I encouraged him to brag about how it was done. I thought a movie would be a good idea, too!

Bob: Well, Secretary of Defense Gates didn’t like all the intelligence being leaked out.

Putzy: I was in the next room when Gates told them to “Shut the f— up!” but it was too late for the Pakistani doctor who helped out. Nothing like burning an asset to discourage future sources.

Bob: But they never learn do they?

Putzy: Nyet! They even bragged about the failed operation to save the two executed reporters…with more information leaking to the terrorists.

Bob: Your “No boots on the ground!” idea seems to be working well, too!

Putzy: They keep making the same mistakes! There’s nothing dumber than telling your enemy ahead of time what you’re not going to do!

Bob: Come the 2016 election, we’re going to miss Obama and his “useful idiots”.

Putzy: Not even Hillary could be this good for us!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
Janey: This is devastating!

Dick: Can’t our source do something to out Putzy?

Janey: He’s tried. Obama’s not going to admit that he’s been naively bamboozled for the last six years.

Dick: Well, there is one promise that Obama has kept…at least to the Russians.

Janey: What’s that?

Dick: Being transparent!

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Breaking News: Russia Plans Invasion of Scotland if They Secede

Breaking News: Russia Plans Invasion of Scotland if They Secede

The Russians have taken a keen interest in the vote for Scottish secession from Britain. Maybe too keen an interest.

The British MI6 has picked up information that seems to point to the Russians invading Scotland should the ‘Yes’ vote on independence pass.

Here are some of the taped telephone conversations that they have intercepted from Russian higher-ups in their political system (translated): Continue Reading

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Russian Takeover Strategies Of  Yesterday, Today And Tomorrow

Russian Takeover Strategies Of Yesterday, Today And Tomorrow

2008- Russia invades former ‘comrade’ nation Georgia because Putin ‘has Georgia on his mind….’.

March 2014- Russia takes over the Crimea because they want to protect their naval fleet, and their hidden stores of vodka.

June 2014- Russia begins infiltration and takeover of eastern Ukraine, wanting to ‘protect the Russians living there’ who invaded centuries ago. Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News2 Comments

National Front Thugs Horrified: Hitler a “Dirty Foreign [Insert Profanity Here]”

National Front Thugs Horrified: Hitler a “Dirty Foreign [Insert Profanity Here]”

Most Americans have probably heard of the Front National in France, but not all US citizens may be aware of her somewhat less sophisticated and elegant sister party, the UK’s National Front.

But admittedly, this club of assorted knuckledraggers, boneheads and goosestepping eagle-polishers is so “edgy,” so far off the mainstream political establishment™, that it hardly picks up any votes.

Yes, the NF’s voting tally (not sure about tallywhackers, though) are consistently dwarfed even by the sum of protest votes garnered by fellow neo-fascists, the British National Party. Similarly, their fellow socialists, the Greens, tend to do “better” than the National Front in elections. Continue Reading

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The 13th Annual Biggest Firework Ceremony Begins With a Blast

The 13th Annual Biggest Firework Ceremony Begins With a Blast

Kicking it off this September comes an event the whole world has begged to be a part of. Unfortunately for them, only a selected number of Muslims were able to make it inside.

Since 2001, the Annual Biggest Firework Ceremony has been a part of the Al-Qaeda family who have their traditions such as: Executing anyone they come across with, annoyingly chanting their monkey song ‘Allahu Akbar’, and the classic accidental suicide bombing bloopers the entire unibrow family enjoys. Continue Reading

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A Checklist Of The ‘Humanitarian Aid’ The Russians Are Sending To Ukraine

A Checklist Of The ‘Humanitarian Aid’ The Russians Are Sending To Ukraine

At the Russian/Ukrainian border the so-called ‘humanitarian aid’ convoy sent by Putin stops to do a final check on what supplies they will be delivering to the Ukrainians on the other side. Two Russian majors exit the first two vehicles carrying clipboards and meet at the back of the first truck.

“OK Dimitri, let’s take a final check on everything.” Continue Reading

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Harry Potter Breaks Hollywood Gag-clause, Stuns World Leaders into Unscheduled Epic Three Minutes of Silence

Harry Potter Breaks Hollywood Gag-clause, Stuns World Leaders into Unscheduled Epic Three Minutes of Silence

Harry Potter breaks Warner Brothers contractual gag-clauses. The wizard reveals What Must Not Be Spoken in the News Media Anywhere in the Muggle World.

Here, for the first time, the shocking truth behind why one of the world’s most famous wizards was forced to live a double life as Daniel Radcliffe in the Muggle World since he signed with the Hollywood movie studio.

Potter spoke on the record with investigative journalist Sophia-Bigg-Storm about how the White House-Hollywood-Military-Media Propaganda Complex censored all wizards and witches who appeared in the Harry Potter movies from talking about a 900-year old Wizard-Goblin Bankers’ War waged for financial control of the Muggle World.

Credit Conjurer: Ex-Wall Street & London banker, John Key, as New Zealand’s prime minister uses his Money Tree Wand to borrow $300m a week from a “foreign pixie” to keep the economy ‘solvent’.

Credit Conjurer: Ex-Wall Street & London banker, John Key, as New Zealand’s prime minister uses his Money Tree Wand to borrow billions from a “foreign pixie” to keep the economy of Lorde’s homeland ‘solvent’.

By Sophia Bigg-Storm, 13 August 2014

Raining on the Dark Wizards’ Parades

Wizard Harry Potter has shocked the Dark Forces of the Magical Realm that rule over the Muggle World.

The shock is not so much because Harry Potter spoke about the double life he has lived as Daniel Radcliffe in the Muggle World since he signed with the Warner Brothers movie studio to make the Harry Potter film series. Every muggle kid over the age of big six has worked this out and told their parents, but they have been disbelieved by their ‘know-betters’.

Rather, Potter has rocked the White House-Hollywood-Military-Media Propaganda Complex because he has spoken to a non-aligned news-outlet located in the Muggle World about an epic war being fought between Dark Wizards and Goblins. (It is a war fought mostly between males, because they dominate the top positions of banking and other major institutions; a fact which is a major gap in feminist scholarship due to the Ministry of Magic’s censorship power over education in the Muggle World).

This war has intensified in the last four decades. In short, the magical creatures are using their powers in a clichéd fight over the politics of money.

Potter stated that Warner Brothers movie studio had written gag-clauses into all the wizards and witches contracts, including his and his co-stars’ – witch, Hermione Granger and wizard, Ron Weasley. The Hollywood executives anticipated as the magically-gifted stars grew older, they would learn about the Wizard-Goblin’s Bankers’ War and likely try to alert entertainment-hungry naïve muggles about it. The wizard said they tried on numerous occasions to tell muggle reporters, but they would think the three young wizards were playing on the accepted separation between make-believe and make-real.

Furthermore, Potter explained key insiders of the world’s major news outlets have access to the major magical-stream media newspaper, the Daily Prophet, and like the world’s political leaders, they are well-briefed on the Wizard-Goblin Bankers’ War.

The wizard said these key insiders were offered interviews with numerous wizards and witches, but all rebuffed the opportunities, except The Washington Post, whose dyslexic reporting duo, Bob Woodward Jnr and Carl Bernstein Jnr, fantasized about scooping Magicgate, but they became becaged with fear and ‘chickened-out’ at the last minute.

Moreover, Potter’s interview with the non-aligned news outlet Snoopman News in Auckland New Zealand, was sent to all the world’s major news outlets via the Daily Prophet newspaper and a planet-wide muggle media blackout on the scoop followed. We also contacted our secret sources in the Obama administration, who checked White House transcripts of phone calls, memos and other communications that are currently blocked from being ritualistically leaked. Those sources confirmed Harry Potter’s story, but could not risk providing communications at this time.

Fraternal Friends: The world’s major muggle-stream media outlets maintain a black-out on the Wizard-Goblin Bankers’ War.

Fraternal Friends: The world’s major muggle-stream media outlets maintain a black-out on the Wizard-Goblin Bankers’ War.

Because of this worldwide censorship by unofficial means, numerous Light-working Wizards and Witches decided that it was time to break the Ministry of Magic’s law. That law stipulates that wizard and witches Must Not Reveal the Magical Realm to the Muggle World. But, the Light-working Wizards and Witches decided that unless they did, muggles would certainly become enslaved forever by debt, which had been sneakily added, like death and taxes, to life.

To this end, Harry Potter was sent via a hi-speed magnetized train network that runs through a natural tunnel labyrinth within the Earth’s crusty rock, to a far-flung outpost of the American Empire, the New Zealand ‘rock-star’ economy, where all musicians get by making coffee, not music. Except purple-lipped Lorde, who was chosen to be Queen Bee so that middle-class bees would channel their futile upper-class aspirations into consumer identity projects to keep the over-hyped economy working for the rich.

Potter said, “We’ve been extremely concerned about the fight between Dark Witches and Wizards and their enemies, the Goblin Bankers for some time.” A capitalist fraternity of Dark Wizards and Witches had struggled, throughout time and between the magical and muggle realms, with Goblin bankers for world domination, the wizard actor said.

World Domination by Finance

The famous wizard said that the American Empire has used its military power to force or coerce nearly every country in the world to trade oil in US dollars, during an interview that took place at night on the mean streets of Auckland, New Zealand’s largest city, in the middle of a week-long storm.

Harry Potter said, “[t]he US dollar, which has been the world’s unofficial world currency since World War II, is backed by the United States’ muggle military, and not gold or silver as it has been at various times.” By making the US dollar the central currency to trade oil, the world has, in effect, been financing the Dark Wizard’s militarization of the far-flung planet, Potter explained.

Presidential War Tree Wand: Obama carries the war wand when in transit in case the Dark Wizards order another war.

Presidential War Tree Wand: Obama carries the war wand when in transit in case the Dark Wizards order another war.

As audacious as that plot is, the Fraternity of Dark Wizard bankers and their rival Goblin bankers have burdened the world with debt to the tune of over $100 trillion. Potter stated, “The Fraternities of Dark Wizard and Goblin Bankers have captured most nation states during the last nine centuries through wars and terrorism, and other forms of traumatizing drama, including financial, economic and psychological warfare, with religious beliefs playing a major supporting role.

Their purpose has been to ensure that spineless governments borrow off the spiffily-dressed bankers, rather than control the issuance of the currencies and credit through their dimly-lit state treasuries, Potter said. As a result, most governments lack the sovereign power to supply their jurisdictions with the right proportion of debt-free currency and interest-free credit to facilitate the creation of resilient, sustainable and peaceful grown-up societies.

It gets worse.

Banks as Tools of Conquest

The rivalrous Dark Wizards and Goblin Bankers all over the world ensure the supply of cash is scarce. “Due to this enforced scarcity, most muggles are restricted from earning enough and they are coerced to borrow from the banking fraternities,” Potter said. “So, muggles toil away without realizing that darkly magical bankers are the great masters of central planning. Hitler would have creamed his Hugo Boss trousers if he’d been able to recruit the worst of them.”

Gringotts Bank, City of London: Knows Who’s Who of Richest in the Magical Realm and Muggle World That Bankers Must Not Name.

Gringotts Bank, City of London: Goblins Know Who’s Who of Richest in the Magical Realm and Muggle World That Bankers Must Not Name.

The Light-working wizard stated the Dark Wizard and Goblin bankers do not actually lend money they have when they brazenly make loans. It turns out that credit is simply magical money conjured into existence out of annoyingly thin air at the time naïve muggle ‘borrowers’ agree to make payments in the future to service the ‘loan’.

Sellers of goods and services bought on credit deposit the credit funds throughout the banking system. These funds get counted as new deposits. Low-level bean-counters, posh auditors and bank fraud units with 1980′s furniture have yet to cotton on to this system-wide swindle, Potter said. “Because they’ve learned their professions by rote-learning, instead of retaining a famously four-year old’s ‘But, why?’ curiosity, they fail to question where the money came from to inflate these massive credit bubbles.”

The sneaky banks use the deposits, “to buy interest-bearing treasury securities, corporate bonds and other financial instruments, like shares” to ‘earn’ easy income off, lamented the wizard-actor. It is upon that base of deposits that banks make new ‘loans’, also conjured into existence out of annoyingly thin air.

“What this means,” explained Potter, “is that the entire hexed Muggle race is forced to compete for the cash that the Dark Wizard and Goblin bankers keep scarce, in order to try to make enough money to pay the ‘loans’ and interest.”

“Because the Dark Capitalist Wizards, Witches and Goblins are so well-connected to their magical insiders working in politics, judiciaries, militaries, royal palaces, academia, ecclesiastical and media institutions, their spells over muggles are tricky to break”, Potter said with a raised eyebrow, indicating he could hardly believe how this brazen dark network of ‘has-beens’ has been able to fool even self-important low-level bean counters. “What’s more, the alliances can be blurred because you get some who empathize with their official enemy because of the universal magic power that jolts even muggles out of their rigidity: love.”

Dark Royalty Blood

We reached Britomart Train Station in downtown Auckland, New Zealand, and stepped into the wall at Platform 3 and One Third. We were now among the hubbub of the magical world in the underground Transcontinental Train Transport station where trains run on time due to the charm, Give-a-Shitus (New Zealand magical slang for caring).

Potter retrieved his wand and with the drying charm, exaresco, he made us dry again. We said goodbye. I saw what I thought was childrens’ purple water-colour paint on the pavement. “Purple paint!” I blurted to escape embarrassment of the fan-girlish feeling that came over me.

Harry followed my gaze and exclaimed, “Wizard blood … or witch blood.”

“I thought witch and wizard blood was red,” I said.

“Not Dark Royalty blood,” said Potter, as we both tracked the purple blood splotches that started where I stood and led to the super-fast magnetic propulsion train, which took only three hours to travel to the opposite side of the planet. “It’s always purple!”

Dark Wizard or Witch Blood? A sign that a wounded Dark Royal boarded the fast train back to London.

Dark Wizard or Witch Blood? A sign that a wounded Dark Royal boarded the fast train back to London.

Potter boarded. “Be careful Harry,” I called. “New Zealand’s darkly magical fraternity can be vile when drunk.”

I could see him following the trail of blood up an aisle, with his wand ready to zap at danger.

Potter swung around and I jumped. He opened a window. “Hermione wrote up notes and a list of references for you to use with the interview,” Potter called out, handing me a notebook with a green owl on the cover.

We both laughed hard. Harry Potter closed the carriage window a moment before the train bolted into the night throwing him hard against a seat.

I realized then that Harry Potter is one of the bravest, big-hearted people I have met. It would be shallow to write-off the risks that Potter takes simply because he is gifted with magical powers. To think that would mean to be suckered into the media persona conjured by J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers.

Most people of privilege, including middle-class muggles, are too scaredy-cat to investigate the truth behind ‘the news’ themselves.

Whereas, Harry Potter is using his privilege to help zoned-out muggles see that what little freedom they have is in peril and to believe in their own source of magic: intuition, imagination and inquisitiveness.

Not Just Fiction: Wizard Harry Potter slipped away from his day-job at the Ministry of Magic’s Auror Office, the magical agents who apprehend Dark Wizards.

Not Just Fiction: Wizard Harry Potter slipped away from his day-job at the Ministry of Magic’s Auror Office, the magical agents who apprehend Dark Wizards.

As I reached our world headquarters, where our researching elves were busy chatting on Facebook, I wondered what color would be used to depict witches’ blood in tampon and sanitary-pad commercials in the magical realm.

I told some of the elves that Harry Potter had recognized the purple blood of a wizard or witch. The elves, many of whom are studying Public Relations because it is lucrative, easy work to do undercover, stopped Face-booking only to ask if they could post the photos, without hearing the full story. They could get work as journalists anywhere in the world, I thought, especially since many reporters, who regard themselves as ninjas of the internet, no longer leave their desks.

The elves said they did not know what colour witches’ period blood would be depicted in commercials. But, they said it would certainly not be purple. Not with Wizards and male Goblins controlling darkly magical capitalism.

====================

Amazonian-American journalist Sophia Bigg-Storm tried to break the story that World I and World II were conjured by an Anglo-American Brotherhood who conspired to dominate the world by controlling oil and finance, through a system enforced by military aggression, subversion and other intrigues. Bigg-Storm’s investigations were suppressed by her former employer, The National Enquirer, a newspaper that movie critics think is just make-believe because it was depicted in the film Citizen Kane. She was recently gifted Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth on a recent holiday to her ancestral home of Paradise Island, which is driving other reporters mad with envy. SEE: Snoopman News http://snoopman.net.nz

SEE ALSO: Harry Potter’s Suppressed Interview (Edited Transcript) at: http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=1808

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