1. Cut, cut, cut!
Erdogan is upset at the notion of theocratic dictatorships cutting up innocent people while they’re still alive.
Just so you know.
Prominent UK broadsheet The Guardian quotes Erdogan as follows:
Intelligence and security institutions have evidence showing the murder was planned … Pinning such a case on some security and intelligence members will not satisfy us or the international community. From the person who gave the order, to the person who carried it out, they must all be brought to account.
Yeah, barbaric dictatorships mutilating and murdering innocent people? We couldn’t have that now, could we!
2. I Cannot Tell a Lie
Obama is worried about how the USA never had pathological liars in the political sphere until today.
Anyone remember Obama? Or Clinton, Bush, LBJ, Nixon?
This is just utterly staggering.
3. Crank it Up
Notorious Brussels Bureaucrat and part-time amateur/professional conspiracy theorist Guy Verhofstadt claims that Apple and Samsung were slowing his phone down.
Hm, I wonder what websites he could possibly have been watching???
I always had the feeling my phone became slower after two years and I addressed this. Good to see that Apple and Samsung are fined for deliberately slowing down their phones. It is not a fair way to push people into buying a new phone. https://t.co/JpKyCNfjYY
— Guy Verhofstadt (@guyverhofstadt) October 25, 2018
4. Guy the Sly
Gorgeous Guy also wants to defend democracy by using social media to censor any views that go against the mainstream centrist consensus.
Good news for European democracy. Yesterday, the European Parliament voted on a resolution demanding Facebook’s action against disinformation ahead of the next European elections 🇪🇺 🗳️ #EP2019 https://t.co/9k0kuQHQGg
— Guy Verhofstadt (@guyverhofstadt) October 26, 2018
5. Freedom is racist
One million people in the UK endeavour to sign away their own freedom, just when they’re on the verge of grasping it. Oh, and apparently an EU exit is ‘waaaaaayyyyyyyycist’ too! I never knew EU members were a race! Next we’ll be hearing Islam is as race too… Actually, I think people are already claiming that in the UK. I guess all those nasty Europhobic Russians are the real problem though, right?
6. No Equality of Gender Without Equality of Consultation
What else have you seen that made you laugh? Tell us below, and we might just feature it next time! And send your contributions (satire, serious commentary, or anything else) to email@example.com! Like us on Facebook, and invite your friends too!
Thanks for reading. Please share what you just read, it really means a lot! Also, don’t forget to have a look at the following links.
First of all, you can like these Facebook pages. Do invite your friends, and don’t forget to share something interesting with them from time to time!
Check out my hilarious satire, beautiful poetry and amazing novels on Amazon.
Follow me and my exciting e-zines:
Please watch and share my videos! Comment always welcome:
Finally, please consider becoming my patron on Patreon! Your support as a subscriber really does mean a great deal. And even if you don’t want to be a patron (or you would really like to be, but just can’t right now) you can subscribe to the mailing list for free updates on my regular Patreon posts: both exclusive advance access ones for my patrons, as well as open access ones that anyone can read at any time!