The Funniest Unintentionally Satirical Headlines of Today! But Do You Have a Tip-Off For Us???

1. Cut, cut, cut!

Erdogan is upset at the notion of theocratic dictatorships cutting up innocent people while they’re still alive.

Just so you know.

Prominent UK broadsheet The Guardian quotes Erdogan as follows:

Intelligence and security institutions have evidence showing the murder was planned … Pinning such a case on some security and intelligence members will not satisfy us or the international community. From the person who gave the order, to the person who carried it out, they must all be brought to account.

Yeah, barbaric dictatorships mutilating and murdering innocent people? We couldn’t have that now, could we!

2. I Cannot Tell a Lie

Obama is worried about how the USA never had pathological liars in the political sphere until today.

Anyone remember Obama? Or Clinton, Bush, LBJ, Nixon?

This is just utterly staggering.

3. Crank it Up

Notorious Brussels Bureaucrat and part-time amateur/professional conspiracy theorist Guy Verhofstadt claims that Apple and Samsung were slowing his phone down.

Hm, I wonder what websites he could possibly have been watching???

4. Guy the Sly

Gorgeous Guy also wants to defend democracy by using social media to censor any views that go against the mainstream centrist consensus.

5. Freedom is racist

One million people in the UK endeavour to sign away their own freedom, just when they’re on the verge of grasping it. Oh, and apparently an EU exit is ‘waaaaaayyyyyyyycist’ too! I never knew EU members were a race! Next we’ll be hearing Islam is as race too… Actually, I think people are already claiming that in the UK. I guess all those nasty Europhobic Russians are the real problem though, right?

6. No Equality of Gender Without Equality of Consultation

It just so turns out the recent UK government consultation on gender equality failed to consult cisgender women, let alone cisgender men. D’oh! So much for including all voices.

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!