HUGE Diplomatic Crisis: David Cameron Arrested in Turkey

Well-beloved Brasenose Brexit bothererer and flamboyant career politician David Cameron has inadvertently sparked an epic diplomatic kerfuffle.

Last night, he was arrested in Turkey.

The good news, however, is he is now safely out of Turkey.

He was, however, wholly unable to bring home the bacon.

Lord Ashcroft drily, if passionately, remarks:

I always told Dave to stay out of Turkey. Some of these days, I told him, you are going to bugger up something dreadful! “Nonsense, darling!” he preened and purred. “Now calm down, dear, and don’t get salty! I might get myself into a bit of a tight spot, but we all know the police over there are all bark and no bite! A fistful of cash to grease the wheels, and we’re all happy as pigs in muck!” I was rather displeased at that. “I’ve made my passionate appeal, but I’m simply not going to beg. I’m not going to kneel down and beg you for my heart’s desire. I must confess I am not over-fond of casting my precious pearls of knowledge at swine.” Dave sniffed. “Nor am I, old chap. I prefer to stow ’em safely, where the buggers can’t get their hands on ’em!”

 

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