Frank Turner Parody: Cameron Fucked The Pigs!




Whatever happened to dogging?
The pigs are scared now David Cameron’s in the neighbourhood;
His truncheon’s small, deadly and harmful
He’s a nasty sexual deviant Tory shit!
And any little piggy on the farm he sees
Has to run to the farmer with a terrified squeal
They’re all tired of being tired out
Always being molested by Davie’s dangly bits!
We’re all wondering how they ended up so scared;
A farm’s a place that should be full of tenderness, love and care
And “there’s no such thing as pigfuckers” anyway… (?!)
Then all the voters act surprised
At the debauchery before their eyes
But you know Dave wants his piggies for his bride
Like a noncing sexual deviant
Cameron fucked the pigs!
And he’s being a vile little bitch you see
Giving it all away for free
In the time honoured centrist Tory PC economy
Even the sexual deviants are needing some help!
But now the scene is brighter
Dave’s grin gets wider and the piggy’s arse gets tighter,
And for every unwashed swine flu piglet
There’s an oik with a heart who wouldn’t lift his zinger for any human being!
Now the pigsty’s in an appalling state
But Dave has his pork and he feels just great
But as soon as the piglets taste his salty porky richness
They run squealing to the farmer, because they don’t want to be a little Tory bitch!
It’s no surprise the squeaking pigs Dave fucked up
Didn’t object when this wanker showed up
But when people are prepared to bugger infant livestock
Is it any fucking wonder our agriculture is in danger of collapse?!
So Dave and his boys are plastered
But don’t blame him, he wants another sample
Of the only flamboyant lifestyle to suit a glossy fop:
That’s right…


Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!