Category: Politics
U.S. Congressional Approval Falls Below 0%
The U.S. House of Representatives recently held a hearing concerning the revelation that Congress’ approval rating hit the unprecedented low of -0.4%. The following is a transcript of that hearing. CONGRESSIONAL APPROVAL RATING FALLS BELOW 0% 2012 HEARING BEFORE THE…
11 New Slogans for the Mitt Romney Campaign
The Romney campaign has been struggling to find their “bumper-sticker” moment, but they’ve been working hard towards that end. What follows is ten of their best new slogans for this 2012 election. Here’s hoping Romney wins, am I right? Top…
U.S. Raises Gaffe Threat Level to Orange, As Romney Returns From Abroad
WASHINGTON – The U.S. Federal Election Commission today warned Americans of what it termed “an increased possibility of a major verbal gaffe taking place on U.S. soil within the coming days.” The F.E.C. issued its warning after its analysts detected…
Black Fists of Power Magazine Scores Attorney General Eric Holder Interview
Chicago (AP) – In an exclusive interview with Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Black Fists of Power Magazine Managing Editor, America’s Chief Law Enforcement Officer continued to dodge responsibility for malfeasance at the Department of Justice that even the Associated Press and…
The Economy Has Improved, Stupid
Reading through the comments on Fark Monday, I encountered the most fascinating post by a user named Hugram. It dispels from every aspect the myth that the economy is worse under Obama. The truth is Bush made a mess and…
Ralph Lauren Apologizes to Mitt Romney for Chinese-Made Yarmulke
Ralph Lauren has found himself in another tight spot this weekend when it was revealed that the yarmulkes designed for Romney’s visit to Israel were also made in China. A quick apology was issued when news of the non-kosher yarmulkes…
Mitt Romney Adopts His Overseas Money; Emotional Reunion at Airport
BOSTON–It was quite the Hallmark moment for the Romney clan today as the former governor stood next to his campaign bus at the Logan International Airport, anxiously awaiting the arrival of his newly adopted sons. And as his “precious cargo”…
Commoners Tell Romneys ‘Screw You and the Dressage Horse You Rode in On’
While the financially elite in London are said to be looking forward to showing Mitt and Ann Romney a jolly good time in London this week, the majority of ordinary Londoners would be just as happy to see the Romneys…
U.S. House of Representatives Votes to Abolish Satire
The United States House of Representatives has recently conducted a bipartisan vote to abolish all forms of satire within the country in a move clearly designed to belie the widely held notion that Congress is the place where good ideas…
Freaking Journalist Agitates Candidates, Deemed “Terrorist”
Police are on the look out for a rouge freelance journalist suspected of reckless disregard of media protocol and assault with a rhetorical question. The unknown journalist first struck at a Romney campaign stop in New Hampshire and asked about…