Category: Top Stories
Senate Hands Control of Health Care Reform to Private Citizen
Hoboken NJ — In an effort to provide the best possible universal health care coverage to American Citizens, the Senate today released a new, surprise, Health Care Plan where all coverage will be provided through the ‘Bill Whiddel Insurance Agency’….
IKEA To Accept Souls As Currency
In a bold attempt to increase sales, Swedish furniture retailer IKEA has announced that it will soon allow customers to sign away their mortal souls in exchange for store credit. Those whose souls are not wholesome enough to afford more…
Senate Democrats Should be Sent to Reform School
In the wake of the systematic butchering of the Senate version of the health care reform bill almost single-handedly by Sen. Joe Lieberman (Dem/Ind/Rep/Lib-CN), it has been suggested that not only Lieberman, but all Democrats should be sent to Reform…
How a Magical God Experience Transforms People
(People seem very interested in the Question of God… So here’s another paper on God and Mysticism and Human Progression…) ‘Characteristics and experiences perceived during the mystical state have been examined in many scientific studies, the majority falling into the…
New Construction Soars as Contractors Build without Buyers
Houston (GlossyNews Exclusive) — Housing starts all over the country have soared in the last two weeks as general contractors near you went back to work building with a vengance. Only problem is — there are no buyers. Already over…
Granny Grapples with Grocery Superpower
A 95-year old Grandmother has answered the clarion of moral conscience’s call and is spearheading the campaign against a proposed supermarket being built atop the listed buildings of a historic English market town. Fellatia Skank spit the proverbial dummy when…
2000 Years of Evolution of the Western Political Philosophy
2000 Years of evolution of Western Political Philosophy, continuing to shape our present-day, conflicting, political ideologies… Our present political and social conflicting ideologies, (including the ideas fought for during the Cold War) goes way back, thousands of years — no…
London City Targets ‘Lycra Lout’ Cyclists
Rogue cyclists who flout the law while riding haphazardly along the gilded byways of London are to be re-classified as ‘domestic terrorists’ and fined by Westminster Council under plans to crackdown on called “Lycra louts” – with rumours abounding that…
House GOP Deny Irrelevancy: “Bull Nipples Would be VERY Useful”
Washington, DC: Congressional Republicans reacted angrily today at accusations of abject incompetence and political irrelevance from both within and outside the party. Republican leaders denied their perceived lack of any direction for the country in terms of ideas or policies…
Osama’s Cave Getting Too Crowded
(Information received by word of mouth via the north Pakistan grapevine) Osama bin Laden’s cave has become crowded beyond capacity due to President Obama’s decision to send an additional 30,000 US troops to Afghanistan. Every Taliban member not busy committing…