Category: Biz News
Bloomberg Wins Bloomberg Innovation Challenge
NEW YORK—Months of anticipation from techies and financial experts came to a close on Sunday as the results of the fourth annual Bloomberg Urban Innovation Challenge were announced. Despite the largest pool of contestants in the history of the competition,…
More CEO Jokes (Because They Just Won’t Go Away)
Why is the nickname for CEO’s ‘Deepwater Horizon’? Because they leave an oily trail behind them wherever they go.
Mexican Drug Cartel Goes Public
Wall Street, N.Y. – Joaquin Guzman, leader and CEO of the Sinaloa Drug Cartel, the largest and one of the most powerful drug cartels in the world, has initiated an IPO (Initial Public Offering) underwritten by the investment bank, Goldman…
ATM Worried About Job Prospects in Cashless Economy
COLUMBUS, OH – As plastic and electronic methods continue to replace cash as consumers’ preferred means of payment, fears about the long-term impact of this trend are running high among a key segment of the nation’s banking workforce, specifically its…
Job Opening: Got What it Takes to be al Qaeda’s New Number 2?
Recently, Al Qaeda’s #2 in command was killed in a drone strike. This makes him the fourth Al Qaeda #2 to be taken out in the past 18 months. In the interest of casting a wider net for possible replacement…
5-Bed Neo-Classical for Sale, Prime Penn. Ave Location
Determined to put a dent in the national debt, the House of Representatives has voted to sell the White House. The Senate quickly jumped on debt reduction bandwagon but held out for the less radical idea of simply mortgaging the…
Military to Balance Budget via Naming Rights
Because of severe military budget reductions, the MetLife Defense Department has begun selling naming rights to major military weapons systems and installations. The AT&T Pentagon, contacted by a senior military correspondent yesterday, said they expect to make millions from corporations…
Liquor at Supermarkets – Here Comes the Hangover
This morning at the crack of midnight Washington State supermarkets like Metropolitan Market in downtown Seattle began selling hard liquor. It took years of struggle, three state-level initiatives and more than $22 million from Costco, but is it worth it?…
Charlie Brown-Lucy Reunion Ends Badly
Another chapter in the long history of unintended consequences was written this week, as two former child stars found themselves in the no longer adoring media spotlight. By all accounts, things began innocently enough at the Aaron Burr High School…
90 Percent of Nation’s Richest 10 Percent Support “We Are The 99 Percent” Economic Protest
NEW YORK – Some of the nation’s wealthiest citizens are expressing their support for the “We Are The 99 Percent” campaign, which has arisen from the economic protests taking place in New York’s Zuccotti Park and in other cities across…