90 Percent of Nation’s Richest 10 Percent Support “We Are The 99 Percent” Economic Protest

NEW YORK – Some of the nation’s wealthiest citizens are expressing their support for the “We Are The 99 Percent” campaign, which has arisen from the economic protests taking place in New York’s Zuccotti Park and in other cities across the country.

According to a recent survey, 9 out of 10 of the country’s richest 10 percent believe that the campaign’s slogan is “right on the mark” in drawing the line between those who are benefiting from the current economic and political system and those who are suffering as a result of it.

“I, personally, couldn’t agree more,” said investment banker Reginald Gainsworthy III, interviewed aboard his semi-luxurious yacht moored at the city’s 79th Street Boat Basin. “The fact that the nation’s richest one percent now control 38 percent of U.S. wealth, while we, the next richest nine percent, control only 33 percent makes it clear that the economic odds are unfairly stacked in favor of the uber-affluent.”

Mr. Gainsworthy raised his glass of $200-a-bottle Cristal – which he termed “the mere multi-millionaire’s modest alternative” to such top-tier champagnes as $400-a-bottle Bollinger Blanc de Noirs Vieilles or $750-a-bottle Krug Clos du Mesnil – in a toast to the efforts of protesters who are demonstrating for a change in the economic status quo.

“I am the 99 percent!” he exclaimed enthusiastically, adding, “I really love that slogan.”

“I concur wholeheartedly,” said corporate attorney Jasper Spitzanyu, one of the guests aboard Mr. Gainsworthy’s yacht. “Of course, it would probably make more sense for the nation’s poorest 90 percent, who own a mere 29 percent of the nation’s wealth, to be the ones uniting in protest, but that ‘99 percent’ resonates much more powerfully than just ’90 percent’, don’t you think?”

“Indubitably,” Mr. Gainsworthy agreed. “In fact, one would think that it’s the nation’s poorest 40 percent, with less than one percent of the nation’s wealth, who really have the most to complain about. But, my goodness, who would pay any attention to a ‘We Are The 40 Percent’ campaign? Certainly not the majority of people. Besides, those 40 percent are probably too exhausted from hunger to be able to muster much of a protest anyway.”

Mr. Gainsworthy said he had recently purchased 2,700 “We Are The 99 Percent” campaign buttons, which he has been handing out to 90% of his 3,000 fellow New York Yacht Club members. “We are also thinking of organizing a regatta from New York to our club’s home in Newport as a show of solidarity with the protesters,” he noted.

“It will give us an opportunity to fulfill our responsibility as job creators,” Mr. Gainsworthy concluded, “as we shall certainly need to hire additional deckhands and waiters for the event.”

With a top prize of a $17,600 bottle of Louis Roederer Cristal Brut Methuselah 1990, Mr. Gainsworthy said he expected club member participation in the regatta of upwards of 90 percent, noting, “The other 10 percent of our members probably already have cellars full of the stuff.”

Author: Steve Fisher

Steve Fisher is an American writer living in Prague, Czech Republic. Visit: Fishful-Thinking.net.