Category: Sportsfolk
Replacement Refs Replace Rules of Football
NEW YORK- Replacement referees, locked out referees, and team owners sat down on Monday to discuss disagreements that have arose over the first three weeks of the season. Sunday’s schedule was an outstanding example of just how creative the liberties…
New Lakers Stars Learn How to Pass the Ball to Kobe
Los Angeles, California- As the Olympic hype dies down and the Lakers’ newest acquisitions begin training for the upcoming season, all players seem to be eager to learn how to pass the ball to Kobe. The two biggest new comers…
As Olympics Open Michael Phelps Tests Positive for Performance-Enhancing Arms
BALTIMORE, MD – The world of athletics was left stunned Tuesday after the announcement that 14-time Olympic gold medalist swimmer Michael Phelps has tested positive for performance-enhancing arms. The world renowned swimmer, who won eight gold medals at the 2008…
Elway-Manning for America 2012
Area man Peyton Manning had just gotten laid off from work. Within 48 hours, he knew what he had to do. He hopped on a plane and headed to Denver. John Elway, Broncos exec, was waiting for him. “Sorry about…
ESPN’s Mel Kiper Picks Himself as #1 Pick in NFL Draft
Hollywoodland, CA (GlossySports) — ESPN’s latest NFL mock draft surprises many draft pundits, but it comes as absolutely no surprise to football analyst Mel Kiper, Jr. Speaking to reporters earlier today, he defended his latest top draft pick projection.
Brett Favre Ready To Retire — Again
GREENBAY, WI (GlossyNews) — In a surprising and unexpected career move, Brett Favre officially announced today that he is retiring from fatherhood. “Since I have returned to the game I love, my attention will be shifting away from my family…
Steinbrenner Options Satan for Minor Mephistopheles to be Named Later
HELL (GlossyNews) — Word comes via famed psychic John Edwards, that legendary sports icon George Steinbrenner has not gone ‘gentle into that good night.’ Other sources confirm Edwards’ assertions. The former Yankees owner has discharged Satan from any further managerial…
LeBron Mural Removed, to be Replaced by “Real” Clevelander
CLEVELAND, Ohio (GlossyNews) — The 10-story billboard of LeBron James that dominates Ontario Street in downtown Cleveland is being removed by the Nike company, which had sponsored the huge mural. According to a Nike spokesman, “We are removing the LeBron…
Bowling Scandal Diverts Negative Attention from Tiger Woods
CHEYENNE, WY – Still recovering from the Tiger Woods scandal, the sports world finds itself mired in yet another public spectacle. Three-time PBA tour champion Slim “Fats” Fettwanst is suing Lurlene Jenks, owner of the “Preemptive Strikes” 32-lane bowling alley…
Tiger Woods No Longer Wants Sex
Number One golfer Tiger Woods, and the doctors treating him for sex addiction, claim he has made a complete recovery and no longer has any desire for sex at all. Woods admitted himself into a sex rehab center in Hattiesburg,…