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Donald Trump Puts Glass House on Market

Donald Trump Puts Glass House on Market

Yet another indication that Donald Trump is absolutely serious about running for President is the fact that he has just listed his all-glass NY mansion for sale this weekend.

The home, a stunning 8 bedroom, 9-1/2 bathroom home is one of the most unusual homes in the older, reserved neighborhood of Old Wesbury, NY.

Boasting “more windows than a cathedral,” Trump is allegedly selling the property due to recent events that he says could very well bring harm to his property, a prediction made a long, long time ago by his grandmother. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments

Dick Cheney Voted ‘Worst President Of All Time”

Dick Cheney Voted ‘Worst President Of All Time”

Polling across the world has indicated that many people, especially in America, consider Dick Cheney to be “the worst President in history.’

Cheney, using someone named ‘Bush’ as a front man, controlled and manipulated U.S. political procedure to the point of near-dictatorship. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Strange People1 Comment

Mayans, Nostradamus Agree on Donald Trump Armageddon Scenario

Mayans, Nostradamus Agree on Donald Trump Armageddon Scenario

Machu Picchu, dusk – GlossyNews.com: After ten seconds of reciprocal nodding over candlelight, Nostradamus and Mayan elders have announced they are in complete agreement with their Donald Trump apocalyptic destruction prophecies.

“I clearly mentioned that guy in the 3rd verse of the 4th Quatrain,” declared Nostradamus, whose only failed prediction was his own death in 1566. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Strange People24 Comments

Aliens Abduct Rhode Island, Connecticut Unaware

Aliens Abduct Rhode Island, Connecticut Unaware

Woonsocket, RI – GlossyNews.com – In one of the most bizarre UFO events yet recorded, aliens reportedly abducted the entire State of Rhode Island.

It happened at 3:15 AM May 10. The entire episode was documented by Barney J. Brothers using his cell phone camera and his video has been posted to YouTube, prompting a frenzied worldwide rush to see the video. Continue Reading

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Posted in Science, Strange People5 Comments

Glenn Beck Defeated by Boycott, Ratings, Sensibilities

Glenn Beck Defeated by Boycott, Ratings, Sensibilities

Dramatic drops in ratings combined with a lack of any reputable (top-of-market-paying) advertiser willing to be part of his show have finally taken their toll on Glenn Beck and his FOXNews program.

Beck offered a rare olive branch, saying, “…I want to verify something that is true,” which marked a noted departure for Beck, who normally avoids verifying the truth, preferring only espouses crazy conspiracy theories and conspicuous product placement for his gold, seed and Armageddon survival oriented sponsors. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Strange People2 Comments

Englishman Shares Home With 240 “Intimacy” Dolls

Englishman Shares Home With 240 “Intimacy” Dolls

Cyril Knowles 52, of Wembley is a happily married man. Yet he shares his modest home with 240 sex dolls of all shapes, sizes and colors.

Strangely, Mrs Knowles helps him to dress and undress his silicone legion, and even takes them for trips out in the family car.

Cyril claims that his unusual “hobby” started when he bought a rag doll for a favorite niece, and found himself inexplicably attracted to it. Continue Reading

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Posted in Strange People17 Comments

Why Gaddhafi Should be Made the US President

Why Gaddhafi Should be Made the US President

With all the problems we have in the U.S. today, it is truly astounding that a simple answer to them exists already and no one has thought of it. Simply make Muammar Gaddhafi the President of the U.S.! The logic of this escapes you? Let us enlighten you. Continue Reading

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Posted in Strange People, War Zone0 Comments

Bigfoot Activity Heightened During Solar Flare Event

Bigfoot Activity Heightened During Solar Flare Event

Mt. Clemens, MICHIGAN – The city of Mt. Clemens, Michigan is once again in the news for Bigfoot sightings as it seems that several citizens have phoned the local police station claiming to have witnessed what they believe are large, hairy ape-like creatures rooting through dumpsters and fouling the air with their distinct skunk-like odor. Continue Reading

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Posted in Strange People0 Comments

Ghost of Les Paul Haunts Pete Townsend of The Who

Ghost of Les Paul Haunts Pete Townsend of The Who

Pete Townsend, guitarist extraordinaire for The Who, wasn’t the first artist to destroy a musical instrument on stage. Jerry Lee Lewis is said to have destroyed a few pianos by setting fire to them, Jimi Hendrix destroyed a few guitars in his short time on this earth. And other big names, including Keith Moon, band mate of Townsend, got a kick out of blowing up his drum sets. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Strange People5 Comments

Jared Loughner Named Newest NRA Poster Boy

Jared Loughner Named Newest NRA Poster Boy

Jared Loughner has been chosen the poster boy of the year for the NRA–the Nutso Retard Association of America.

The minute his mugshot hit the press, the top officials of the organization were unanimous in saying “That’s our boy! He’s got the look we want! He’s clean cut (very!), he’s got a winning smile, he’s got a bright, happy look in his eyes. He’s just the one to represent what we stand for!” Continue Reading

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Posted in Strange People2 Comments

Barbour to Develop Decoder Ring for 2012 Run

Barbour to Develop Decoder Ring for 2012 Run

YAZOO CITY, MS — GlossyNews.com In preparation for announcing his intentions to run for President in 2012, Haley Barbour, Governor of Mississippi, has begun extensive development with the Ovaltine Company of the 2012 Presidential Secret Decoder, much like those in early 20th century radio and mid-century live TV, popularized by Little Orphan Annie, Captain Midnight, Jonny Quest and Captain Video. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Strange People0 Comments

Boy 14, Cracks Skull in Attempt to Board Hogwarts Express

Boy 14, Cracks Skull in Attempt to Board Hogwarts Express

London, England (Glossy News) – Paramedics arrived at London King’s Cross Railway Station on September 1st at 11:13 a.m. after a teenage boy of fourteen years cracked his scull in an attempt to get to platform 9¾ from the very popular Harry Potter books.

Devon Kinney and his mother, Debora Kinney were on their way to board a train to Manchester when Debora turned around to check the train schedules. “I had my back to him for a second, and then all the sudden I heard a huge bang, and I turned around to see Devon on the ground with his head bleeding profuse amounts of blood.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Strange People0 Comments

Local Satirist Found Dead; Fowl Play Suspected

Local Satirist Found Dead; Fowl Play Suspected

DUNCAN, OK (Glossynews)– A local satire writer has been found dead in front of his home from multiple gunshot wounds. The assault apparently took place late last night. Police aren’t releasing any information, but several alleged eyewitnesses who prefer to remain anonymous claim the man was gunned down by a masked gang of turkeys.

Likely wild. Initial reports of it being a gaggle of geese have since been disproved. While many are still skeptical about the details, evidence and shell casings gathered at the scene point towards some possibility of fowl play. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Strange People5 Comments

Driver Shaving Bikini Line Charged with “Unfortunate Accident”

Driver Shaving Bikini Line Charged with “Unfortunate Accident”

TAMPA, Fla. (Glossy News) — A Florida woman on her way to visit her boyfriend had an accident on busy US Highway 1 today. Investigating officers say the accident occurred while the driver was temporarily distracted giving herself a bikini cut. Witnesses say she was driving at speeds of up to 65 mph. The driver who was rear-ended in the mishap was not injured. Paramedics discharged him on the scene. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Strange People0 Comments

Pres. Candidate Tryhol Proposes Legislation to Payoff Nat’l Debt

Pres. Candidate Tryhol Proposes Legislation to Payoff Nat’l Debt

Newbie Presidential candidate Bargis Tryhol, who narrowly missed his 2010 presidential window, has created his first piece of legislation in hopes of curbing the spiraling US debt. Tryhol hopes to place the bill before the Senate Leader some time in the next few weeks, though admits tracking him down and getting it past his security detail may prove problematic.

The legislation, SBx7834, authorizes Congress to set up an International Lottery, and every US embassy, consulate, and foreign office will be retail outlets to purchase the lottery tickets. Each ticket will cost $1.00 US. There are no restrictions and any person on Earth can purchase as many tickets as they want. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Strange People15 Comments

Do Canadians Really Exist?

Do Canadians Really Exist?

Do Canadians really exist? Yes, that is my question. Is there really such a whimsical folk who believe in such things as mounted police wearing red uniforms and modified cowboy hats, water wells with hand pumps, pancakes made with milk fresh from the cow, and wood burning stoves? Or are they, like so many other famous creatures, folks and fairies of legend simply a product of someone’s over-inventive fantasy? Continue Reading

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Posted in Strange People, Travel2 Comments

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