Category: Human Interest
‘No Hoodies’ Policy vs ‘Old Time Religion’
The draconian dipshit management of Monty Mamon’s Shopping Arcade at Skidrow-on-Sea have come under severe criticism due their inflexible ‘No Hoodies’ policy. The rigid enforcement of the regulation resulted in a detail of psychopathic Albanian immigrant Gestapo wannabes – on…
Cheney Chases “Party of the Past” Out of His Closet
[UNDSCL’D] DELAWARE, WY – He may be the wise-ass who shoots his friend in the face; true, but he’s OUR friend-face-shooting wise-ass… If you turn 180° from that public persona, you get this touching story about his childhood that he…
Twelve Days of Christmas — The Ghost of Christmas Present
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my true love sent to me Twelve court subpoenas, Eleven texts saying ‘ph*ck you’, Ten bailiffs with repossession orders, Nine blokes to cut the gas off, Eight maids with paternity claims, Seven photos of…
Michigan Bigfoot Sightings On the Rise
Mt. Clemens, MI – With the cold weather approaching, there have been quite a few Bigfoot sightings in the Mt. Clemens area, the most recent occurring last Sunday behind the local Buffalo Wild Wings Grill and Bar out on 15…
Wal-Mart To Offer Sex Toys
Bentonville, Arkansas – Wal-Mart Corporation today announced that they are preparing to sell sex toys in select stores around the country. The mammoth retailer spent a full year on customer research and reached the conclusion that in select rural markets,…
Building Overtakes Basketball… Poms Excel
The Women of Notre Dame officially opened their basketball season on the 15th against unranked University of Arkansas-Pine Bluff at the newly renovated Purcell Pavilion of the Joyce Athletic and Convocation Center. The 102 to 57 rout of UAPB was…
BDSM Blamed on PCB’s
One medical report just leaked to the Transgender Gazette by government whistleblowers indicates something really does stink in Denmark – and it’s definitely not Hamlet’s socks. The Copenhagen government yesterday admitted that leaked official research proved pregnant mothers, new-born babies…
Cosmetic Surgeons Head South at Y in the Road
According to research just published in the British Journal of Aesthetic Twatology the latest craze to displace the tanning parlour cult of looking like a darkie immigrant and contracting melanoma is undergoing surgery to create perfect vulval genitalia. No really,…
Pub Crawl Criticized as Destruction Derby for Livers
A High Court judge sitting at the Old Bailey went totally ballistic and spit the dummy yesterday concerning the supposed ‘professional’ activities of a leisure company titled Carnage UK which organises drink-fuelled nights out for undergraduate student hooligans – one…
Brazilian Brickie Returns from the Dead
A 69-year-old Brazilian man surprised the virtual ’life’ out of the entire family by turning up, albeit a bit late, for his own funeral, according to a bizarre report on page 85 of this week’s Resurrection Gazette. Family and relatives…