Category: Human Interest
Local Woman Saves Planet by Allowing Satan to Dwell in Her Abscessed Tooth
“The pain, Thweet Jethuth the pain,” yelled Cloris Zucker as the dentist poked around in her mouth trying to find the source of her discomfort. He started out innocently enough, beginning on the left side and working his way over…
Humor Blog Owes Success to Worldwide Spammers
ROCKY MOUNT, NC – A 37-year old unemployed factory worker turned humor blogger is reportedly thrilled by recent praise his previously unknown humor blog has received. Avowed bachelor and longtime fan of Wheel of Fortune, Buford Quigley told reporters today…
Sociologists Claim Geniuses Will Take Over World by 2040
Psychologists have recently discovered a disturbing strain of statistically abnormal humans living among us. Allegedly, these genetic mutants have advanced intelligence with I.Q.’s towering as much as 80 points above the rest of us normal people. They have been tentatively…
Behavioral Therapy Teaches Polite Driver How to Be an Asshole
Paul Franklin is known to be a very nice and generous driver, but he recently confessed to friends that the reason he lets everyone go is because he has nowhere to be. “I used to think I was a nice…
Gang of 70-Year Olds on Mobility Scooters Terrorizing Orlando Tourists
The streets of some of Orlando’s most popular tourist destinations are being randomly terrorized by a gang of septuagenarians on mobility scooters. The gang, calling itself the 7 T’s, has so far escaped the law by ducking into restaurants during…
Man Experiences Superhuman Strength And Lifts Remote
Clearwater, FL—Local Comcast technician, Mike Haynes, reportedly experienced superhuman strength after nine hours of television on Saturday. Between the eye strain and sore arm muscles from lifting over 18 cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon, Haynes wasn’t sure if he’d have…
Man Released from Jail after Erroneous Arrest for Internet Porn Post
Rufus Simpson of Pascagoula, Mississippi was released from jail early Saturday morning after spending the night locked up on charges of internet porn posting. His accuser, Shirley Remquist of nearby Moss Point claims that she opened her Facebook page Friday…
Your Fetus Can Read… -Ish
Dr. Robert Titz, the creator of the popular Your Baby Can Read videos has recently announced his next big product. Following the success of Your Baby Can Read, he decided to take early education a step further and developed a…
Texas Governor Rick Perry Loses Governor’s Mansion in Poker Game
Police in Austin, Texas were called to the Governor’s Mansion downtown in response to a call-in report that a strange man appeared to be living in the dwelling amidst the chaos of reconstruction. Upon entry, police officers found Henry Waldrep…
Caution: Saudi Women Behind the Wheel
Saudi women are hitting the streets, revving their engines and trying to drive home a very serious point. It’s all part of a push for social reform by defying the desert kingdom’s longstanding ban on female drivers. “We are not…