Category: Health
Dozens Trampled Over Obamacare Holiday Sale
In what is already being called the worst accident since Walmart’s Black ThurFriday Sale, dozens of people were trampled when crowds broke through library barriers trying to take advantage of Obama’s “Buy One Get One Free” holiday health care plan…
Obamacare Didn’t Falter, but was Crashed by Attacks; DDOS & GOP
As sure as the moneyed-interests opposed Obama to the tune of nearly a billion dollars in 2012, the same interests have come back to crash the ACA (Obamacare) on two fronts, and they’ve done a masterful job of it. The…
Holy Breast Cancer Batman: Huge Boobie in the Sky
Just when we all thought the National Breast Cancer Foundation had topped itself this month by talking the White House into “glowing pink” for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, many witnessed a rare treat in the western sky on October 31…
Americans With “Too-Sh**ty-To-Buy” Healthcare Plans Somehow Outraged Rather Than Embarrassed
NEWARK, N.J.– The majority of Americans who have received letters notifying them that their healthcare plans are now legally considered too shitty for insurance companies to sell to citizens of a first-world nation are somehow feeling “anger” instead of the…
Woman’s Weight Spirals Worryingly Under Control
YORKTOWN – During the post-Christmas period, friends and relatives of local woman Angela Hartman today noted how, in the last year, the 38-year-old’s weight has spiraled worryingly under control. Insisting that Miss Hartman “looks as if she hasn’t eaten in…
All Time Most Horrific Haunted House; The House of Women w/ PMDD
A new haunted house has been set up in Boulder Colorado that seems set to rank as the most frightening of all time- the House Of Women With PMDD. Halloween spook houses are all the rage here on the Front…
The Myth of the GOP Repeal & Replace Talking Point
It was difficult for Republicans to fight against Obamacare. While they tried to vilify it, people actually liked what it stood for, and the rebate checks from premiums didn’t hurt either. But in opposing something designed to fix a national…
HIV Cured in Monkeys, People Who Have Sex Exclusively With Monkeys
PORTLAND, Ore. — Researchers at Oregon Health and Science University have developed a vaccine capable of clearing an HIV-like virus from primate test subjects and which is being hailed as a breakthrough discovery for people who have sex exclusively with…
African Dictator Unveils Plan to Combat AIDS Epidemic: ‘Let Them All Starve’
HARARE, ZIMBABWE – Following an emergency meeting with senior members of his ZANU PF Party, longtime ruler of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe unveiled bold new plans Friday to alleviate the country’s growing AIDS outbreak, declaring: “they must all starve.” Opting to…
Nutritionist Predicts 80% of Mississippi Population Will Die by 2018
Current statistics show that the people of Mississippi are the fattest in the nation weighing in at an average of 197 lbs. for a 5’8” person. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that their diets play a…