Posted in Environment Science & Technologizzy

BP’s Neverending Flow of Ideas on How to Stop the Oil Spill

MOBILE, Alabama (GlossyNews) — In their never ending effort to cap the bottomless Gulf oil leak, those ever creative minds at BP are coming up with endless new possibilities to shut it down. Their highest level officials and engineers have…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! BP’s Neverending Flow of Ideas on How to Stop the Oil Spill
Posted in Environment

Pack of Gray Wolves Hunted Down Like Animals

BUTTE, Montana – The surviving members of a pack of gray wolves have claimed innocence in the ongoing battle between sheep ranchers and environmentalists, after an entire flock of sheep was found dead without any sign of wolves in the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pack of Gray Wolves Hunted Down Like Animals
Posted in Biz News Environment

BP Creates Culinary Division to Sell Turtle Meat

CHALMETTE, Louisiana (GlossyNews) — Add abysmal stock prices to the $20 billion escrow fund and BP’s existing $2.35 billion clean up tab, and you begin to realize how quickly deep pockets grow shallow. The Deep Horizon oil spill in the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! BP Creates Culinary Division to Sell Turtle Meat
Posted in Environment

Cuban Refugee Dredged from Oil Slick, Cleaned, Deported

GRAND ISLE, La.-A team of marine biologists recovered 120 specimens from the rapidly spreading oil spill off the coast of Louisiana Wednesday.

The team, comprised of staff and students from several Gulf Coast universities, volunteered to assist clean-up efforts while studying environmental impacts. While cleaning feathers and fur with dish detergent, Anne Fullerton, a student at Southern University in Baton Rouge, discovered what turned out to be a Mexican attempting to enter the U.S. illegally.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Cuban Refugee Dredged from Oil Slick, Cleaned, Deported
Posted in Environment Politics

Dick Cheney to Form GOP Apology Task Force

WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — Texas Representative Joe Barton’s strange apology to BP CEO Tony Hayward for the government imposed $20 billion escrow account to repay damages caused by the Deep Horizon oil spill continues to spark controversy. The ill-fated gaffe…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Dick Cheney to Form GOP Apology Task Force
Posted in Environment

Acme Corporation Profits from BP Spill Efforts

Acme Corporation is reporting a huge profit upswing this month. Acme is the chief supplier of underwater doo-dads for BP Corporation, the sponsors of what is now the largest oil spill ever, on wonder why they are the biggest, they…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Acme Corporation Profits from BP Spill Efforts
Posted in Environment

Obama Inspires Oil Spill to Clean Itself Up

Smelly Corners, LA (GlossyNews) — President Barack Obama’s recent visit to the Gulf Coast was billed as a chance for the Commander in Chief to assess the damage caused by the massive oil spill, but a top White House aid…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama Inspires Oil Spill to Clean Itself Up
Posted in Environment

Obama Offers Citizenship to Mexicans Who Help Clean Up Oil Spill

Washington D C (GlossyNews) — In a stroke of political genius, President Obama has figured out a way to kill two birds with one oil blob. He has offered full American citizenship to any illegal immigrant who brings a mop,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama Offers Citizenship to Mexicans Who Help Clean Up Oil Spill
Posted in Environment

Pet Stores Donate Birds to Sop Up BP Oil Spill

New Orleans, LA (GlossyNews) — The announcement that shipments of millions of small household pets would be soon arriving to the gulf region was met with cheers by cleanup crews who had all but exhausted local populations of coastal animals….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pet Stores Donate Birds to Sop Up BP Oil Spill
Posted in Environment

Litterbug Fined While BP Oil Disaster Looms

Tippy Toe, LA (GlossyNews) — Amos Moses, an old Cajun who lives by his self in the swamp, hunts alligators for a livin, he just knock ’em in the head with a stomp, was fined 100 clams yesterday for tossing…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Litterbug Fined While BP Oil Disaster Looms