Category: News In Your Briefs
USDA Faces Mounting Pressure to Bail Out Portugal
Economists are questioning why the United States Department of Agriculture would be called on to bail out a foriegn, soveriegn nation, but at the same time, representatives from the USDA have said that “The $14 billion requested only constitutes a…
Younger Palin Comes in “Almost First” Like Mother, Thanks to Gerrymandering
The thick-thighed mistress of spin was served something of a vindication this week, as the hit reality show “Dancing With the Stars” finally succeeded in ousting her daughter from the position she never rightly should have held. Clever vote-rigging and…
Fox Follows MSBN’s Lead- Suspends Entire Staff Over Campaign Donations
Except in this case, a bit of a surprise, it was actually the Republicans politicians making donations to the reporters. Suspensions are reportedly with pay and can be taken any time over the coming 180-days, or cashed out like traditional…
Christine O’Donnell Camp Considering Concession
Only three days after election day, and a mere 9-weeks after her crusade for a senate seat lost its luster, Christine O’Donnell, who has cast her spell on many voters around the good state of Delaware, is now considering conceding…
Terry Fox’s Inspiring Cancer Survivor Story
I am sure most people have heard of Terry Fox, a young cancer survivor who developed bone cancer and had his left leg removed as a result. After recovering, he vowed to “run” 3000 miles across Canada to raise money…
FOX News Blasts Obama for Failure to Stop Qur’an Roast
In perhaps their greatest show of partisan hackery, the pundit collective of FOX News this morning went on offensive against President Obama for his failure to use military force in stopping the radical Christian church in Florida from burning sacred…
McMahon Wants to Wrestle for Senate Seat
Half Nelson Bay, CT (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. Republican Linda McMahon challenged Democrat Richard Blumenthal to wrestle her for the Connecticut Senate seat rather than wait for the outcome of the November election. McMahon,…
Boehner Promises Nothing From GOP
Orange, OH (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with norbert b. snortwhistle. House leader John Boehner vowed that if the GOP captures control of Congress this November, it will do “absolutely nothing for as long as necessary.” Speaking to an…
“Fast for Annorexia” March Seen as Self-Serving
Thousands descended on the National Mall, but none felt as snubbed as the local D.C. vendors. By the days end, despite more than 87,000 in attendance, sales were lackluster at best. “I haven’t sold a single sausage,” said Sal the…
Newlyweds Disappointed by “Oral Expectation” Gap
Sarah and Ted Jgorksen of Providence, Rhode Island dated for almost two years before tying the knot last Sunday in a small traditional wedding held in the Elmhurst neighborhood. While Ted assumed the $5,200 diamond solitaire would ensure a lifetime…