USDA Faces Mounting Pressure to Bail Out Portugal

Economists are questioning why the United States Department of Agriculture would be called on to bail out a foriegn, soveriegn nation, but at the same time, representatives from the USDA have said that “The $14 billion requested only constitutes a small amount of our 2011 discretionary budget, so really, auditing the request would cost us more than just cutting a check.”

Citizens of Portugal have been asked to weigh in, but due to them doing so in Portuguese, with no interpreters available to translate, the wire transfer has already been sent.

Author: Brian White

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.