Dear Horticulturalists at the Botanical Garden

I am a regular visitor. I want your job. I’ve been working for four attorneys who do child abuse cases for twenty-two years. I’m over it.

I would like to prune the Queen Elizabeth roses in the rose garden because that seems like it would be satisfying on so many levels.

I will spread mulch all day long if you need me to. I’m a decent spreader of mulch. (I put that on a dating profile one time.) 

I will work in the tulip garden while singing Tiptoe Through The Tulips off-key. 

Send me to the helliobore garden and I’ll say, “hell-iobore-yes!”

Need help with the orchids in the arboretum? I will do my best not to kill them.

I like weed, I mean weeding! 

I will work at the ticket desk, and use it as an opportunity to tell kids to watch out for the hungry  alligator that’s loose in the garden.

Need to clean sludge out of the koi pond? I will do that any day over my job.

I will help install the thousands of lights for Gardenfest of Lights, which seems like an enlightening task.

In closing, I would dig your job, no pun intended, much more than my job. 



Just kidding.



Author: Kathy Varner

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