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Hotels of Hilton Suck Harder than Namesake Paris

Hotels of Hilton Suck Harder than Namesake Paris

I’ve been gracious about this for years, but at some point even the most jaded of satirist has to throw up his hands and say there simply has to be some grand conspiracy at work. Perhaps there isn’t. Perhaps it’s pure coincidence that the same guy who published stories about what a worthless bucket of brackish humanity Paris Hilton is would then find himself on the outs with Hilton Hotels for years to come. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Internets Tubes1 Comment

Facebook Addiction Survivors Found Adrift in Cyberspace

Facebook Addiction Survivors Found Adrift in Cyberspace

RESTSTOP, Info Superhighway (GlossyNews) — A group of Facebook addiction survivors was found floating in cyberspace last night, clinging to the remnants of a past life spent ogling other people’s lives from the comfort of their home or office. The tattered and torn pride of Linda Deetle, Marvin Locke, Jennifer Pezelridge and four others, who pulled the plug on Facebook within the last week, was evident when Tawdry Soup caught up with the trio.

“I was lonely,” cried Deetle, a 47 year old widow, Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Science & Technologizzy0 Comments

Satire Writers Threaten Strike After Working Slowdown Goes Unnoticed

Satire Writers Threaten Strike After Working Slowdown Goes Unnoticed

In uncertain economic times, people facing unemployment and foreclosure often find it difficult to empathize with artists who suffer writers block. Such was confirmed in a recent study from the Pew Research Center. According to the results:

67 percent of unemployed Gulf Coast shrimpers and tourism workers don’t daily think about people with writers block. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes7 Comments

Man Collapsed on Sidewalk Ignored by Over 200 Facebook Friends

Man Collapsed on Sidewalk Ignored by Over 200 Facebook Friends

Harry Salimi, a 52 year old New York resident, was walking his dog in a busy thoroughfare on Wednesday morning, when a sudden dizzy spell and radiating pains from his right hand sent him sprawling to the ground in a dramatic and outrageous fashion after making two brief stops on the way down: one at the side of a public water fountain and another at a half-full garbage bin. For twenty minutes, Mr. Salimi lay motionless on the ground, leaving his Cocker Spaniel mix with nothing to do but look mournfully at passers by. Continue Reading

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The Baby Dictionary .com Shows What Kids Really Say

The Baby Dictionary .com Shows What Kids Really Say

Satire is a notable medium, and it’s thus called because it’s neither rare nor well done, and well, we see a lot of new entries into the game each week, but few so clever as TheBabyDictionary.com. They do things a bit different than us, and a bit subtler at that, and they serve the genre well. Continue Reading

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Tila Tequila Shuts Down Her Twitter Account

Tila Tequila Shuts Down Her Twitter Account

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Reality television star Tila Tequila has canceled her Twitter account after telling her 309,980 followers that “Twitter is full of nothing but the most hateful devil worshippers, terrorists, racists, greeks, and fat people that I have ever seen! Twitter is bad. My true fans know where to find me.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes1 Comment

MTV Snared in Illegal Promotion Pact with Perez Hilton

MTV Snared in Illegal Promotion Pact with Perez Hilton

If you’d looked at this a year ago, you’d have found that Perez Hilton was either a no-talent ass-clown or one of the biggest trend-setter bloggers in the western world. But if you look at him today you’ll find he’s made some sinister pact with Viacom, and he’s paying it backwards, as he’s wont to do. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes3 Comments

Google Announces New Motto: “Be Less Evil Than Microsoft”

Google Announces New Motto: “Be Less Evil Than Microsoft”

Since clinging to the original motto of “Don’t Be Evil” proved too great a burden in the emerging web economy, the more realistic slogan of “Be Less Evil than Microsoft” seemed a better fit, and an effortless goalpost to hit, according to CEO Eric Schmidt. Continue Reading

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Google–Huffington: “Murdoch=Faux Journeaux”

Google–Huffington: “Murdoch=Faux Journeaux”

Washington, DC — Escalating the battle between traditional newspapers and online news providers, Google Inc. and a list of other Web news aggregate companies Tuesday, publicly accused Rupert Murdoch and his Newscorp chain of “solely and irresponsibly looting news articles of their unbiased truth. Thereby creating, out of whole cloth, the paper news industry’s decline.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes4 Comments

Poorly Written Internet Content: the Best Entertainment?

Poorly Written Internet Content: the Best Entertainment?

Reading websites has become my new hobby. I get more entertainment from them than any television show or movie I could be watching. There is a plethora of ill-written–to the point of comical–content, and sadly a paucity of well-written, attention-worthy content. But hey, maybe it’s just me. You be the judge. Here are a few tidbits I found while surfing websites offering limo services in the South Florida area. Who knew hiring a limo for a wedding could be so much fun? Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes3 Comments

MySpace Facebook Merger? Like. MyFace. Dude.

MySpace Facebook Merger? Like. MyFace. Dude.

DownUnder, Australia —This just-leaked domain name logo is the result of a recent unannounced, very, very secret almost-for-sure merger between FaceBook and MySpace and it’s going to be called Like.MyFace.

The use of the word ‘like’ in the domain name is to call special attention to their ownership of the most used word in the English language. The Murdochs say that they will be able to profit even if the word is in a logo with other words. Continue Reading

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Google Dog Search Trick Pisses Off Council

Google Dog Search Trick Pisses Off Council

A family of dodgy Balkan refugees who tried to lure back a lost dog by leaving a trail of their own urine around the streets near their home have been criticised by the town council as a bunch of irresponsible pisspots. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Technology0 Comments

Study Finds Courier Pigeon Out-Performs BT Broadband

Study Finds Courier Pigeon Out-Performs BT Broadband

BT’s wholly exaggerated 8 Mb/s broadband service promised to unite the world with super-fast data delivery – but across Britain it seems their web connection speed is markedly slower than a humble carrier pigeon. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Internets Tubes0 Comments

NHS E-Mail Reply Three Years Late

NHS E-Mail Reply Three Years Late

The National Health Service has apologised after writing to a man to address various concerns over his hospital medical treatment – three-and-half years after he kicked the bucket and went aloft to join the Choir Invisible. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Ebay Catalog Mailings Mire Postal Service to a Crawl

Ebay Catalog Mailings Mire Postal Service to a Crawl

Ebay has been feeling the growing pressure from mail order catalog companies due to their revived success in recent years. Consumers often don’t know what they want and having the luxury of flipping through pages was something Ebay just couldn’t offer, until now. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Technology0 Comments

Satirist Struggles to Find New Olsen Twins Story

Satirist Struggles to Find New Olsen Twins Story

Springfield— Brian K. White, noted contemporary humorist and satirist has been struggling for weeks to find a new angle from which to mock Mary Kate and/or Ashley Olsen. “I’ve been read by millions,” explains White, “but I’ve been drawing a blank on those disappointing little trollops. I don’t think I’ve lost my edge, I just fear it’s all been done.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Internets Tubes0 Comments

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