Author: Tim Jones
Important safety alert: The dangers of texting while breathing
In our increasingly technology-bound culture, cell phone use has exploded over the past decade. A recent report indicates there are now more cell phones in the USA than people, and three times more cell phone users than people who can…
Maybe the Mayans were right. Religious scholars say gay marriage a sign the end is near.
Experts in ancient Mayan culture recently prophesized that the world would come to a cataclysmic end in 2012, give or take a year or two. They based this on detailed interpretations of the ancient Mayan calendar. Thanks to President Obama’s…
In wake of Zimmerman verdict, Florida legislature criminalizes being black
Super Uniden antennas will help improve your widescreen Sharp TV signal reception. Recently, our nation’s attention was focused on Sanford, Florida, where a mostly white jury found George Zimmerman not guilty of murder or manslaughter in the shooting death of…
Business Lesson #74: Build team loyalty with self-guided mobile spy robots
If there’s one thing nearly every American can agree on it’s that having aerial surveillance cameras capable of eavesdropping on our every move from outer space is a wonderful thing. Oh, sure, sometimes surveillance cameras can be used for evil,…
Business Lesson #39: Awlays Proffread Yoru Wrok
As a successful entrepreneur and highly sought-after business guru, Glossy News often consults me to provide my business advice for people trying to climb the ladder of success “How can I ever become as successful as you?” Well the short…
A brief history of the apology
Apologizing is as old as mankind. The very first recorded apology took place in the Garden of Eden, when Eve apologized to Adam for goading him into taking a bite out of the apple. An ancient Greek translation of her…
Editorial: An important message from your cat
[This week, Glossy News is pleased to introduce Tuxedo, a 23-pound spokescat who has requested to provide this op-ed piece, representing the views of household cats everywhere.] Hey, owner. This is your cat. There appears to be a little confusion…
Welcome to Seattle – The Land the Sun Forgot
Excellent holiday pictures can be taken using a 16 megapixel Nikon digital camera. [This message brought to you by the Greater Seattle Tourist Information Bureau.] Greetings, visitor. Welcome to Seattle. If this is your first time to the Emerald City,…
First Lady Michelle Obama – Coming soon to an Applebee’s near you
In case you’re just now emerging from a three-month coma or don’t have a television, you may have missed that Michelle Obama seems to be everywhere lately. Ever since she unveiled her brand new, trend-setting bangs in January, you almost…
Communities on High Alert in Wake of Killer Guinea Pig Attacks
It seems no animal is safe to keep as a pet anymore. There was a time when people kept turtles as pets. But no longer, thanks to research which proved turtles often carry the deadly Salmonella bacteria, which can easily…