Author: Ric Six
Pope Allegedly Uses Lord’s Name in Vain
VATICAN CITY (GlossyNews) — Media outlets are buzzing as sources inside the Vatican are beginning to approach the press with scandalous information about Pope Benedict XVI. Apparently several papal aides, who wish to remain anonymous, claim that the Vicar of…
Obama Discovers Cancer Cure: Republicans Outraged
WASHINGTON, DC (GlossyNews) — In a surprise press conference this morning, Barack Obama announced to the American public that he has discovered the cure for cancer. “Several well-known medical researchers and I have finally found a way to put an…
“My Little Pony” Chewy Fruit Snacks Found to Contain Horse Meat
MINNEAPOLIS, MN (GlossyNews) – Shock and horror were rampant in the children’s snack market this morning as the word spread that the popular “My Little Pony” fruit snacks contained elements of actual pony. The discovery was apparently made during an…
Recession Forces Upper Class to Flirt with Mediocrity
NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — The recent economic downturn has delivered ubiquitous plight across America, but no other group has been as dramatically affected as the upper class. This was readily apparent by watching patrons exit one of New York’s…
Apple Releases “Is It Raining?” App
CUPERTINO, CA (GlossyNews) — Steve Jobs, co-founder and CEO of Apple Inc., proudly took the podium yesterday at the company’s headquarters for a surprise product announcement. “The wait is over;” proclaimed Jobs, “I proudly give you the ‘Is It Raining?’…
Michael Jackson’s Remains to Appear on “Dancing with the Stars”
HOLLYWOOD, CA (GlossyNews) — During a midday press conference, ABC announced a late addition to this season’s “Dancing with the Stars” celebrity lineup. “It’s a fine day for American Broadcasting,” Media Director Phil Lehman announced. “I’m pleased to tell you…
Man Ejected from Christian Rock Concert for Gesturing “Devil Horns”
OSHKOSH, WI (GlossyNews) — A local 18-year-old, Mark Edwards, was ejected from the Life Fest Christian Rock Festival this past weekend for displaying a rude gesture during one of the band’s performances. “I was watching Crossroads, and man, they we’re…
Teen’s Math Jokes Fail to Score
APPLETON, WI (GlossyKidsNews) – Despite attempts of wooing potential dates with dazzling wit and humor, Appleton East High School sophomore and champion “mathlete” Jon Henderson, appears to be striking out at love. “Girls should be throwing themselves at me after…