It has already started, the “What were you doing when you heard the news that Osama bin Laden was killed?” Most of us were getting ready for bed or already there on a Sunday evening when the news broke. Not much else to remember, just that as soon as we heard, we couldn’t turn off the television. Continue Reading

Donald Trump decided to pull out all the stops to put to rest once and for all the ridiculous notion that he is a racist. Scheduled to speak before a group of business leaders at his alma mater, Wharton School of Business in Philadelphia, Trump stepped onto the stage donning traditional blackface. Continue Reading

Reports are coming out of England that part of the cost of throwing one of the most lavish weddings of the decade will be borne by British taxpayers. Unfortunately, with the economy pretty much still on a downward slide, this news could not have come at a worse time for the royal subjects.

To soften the blow, the Queen has come up with a plan that she hopes will take the sting out of bearing some of the burden for a wedding that is rumored to be overpriced and which most of them may only get to attend by watching it on the telly. Continue Reading

Yet another indication that Donald Trump is absolutely serious about running for President is the fact that he has just listed his all-glass NY mansion for sale this weekend.

The home, a stunning 8 bedroom, 9-1/2 bathroom home is one of the most unusual homes in the older, reserved neighborhood of Old Wesbury, NY.

Boasting “more windows than a cathedral,” Trump is allegedly selling the property due to recent events that he says could very well bring harm to his property, a prediction made a long, long time ago by his grandmother. Continue Reading

The quest for definitive evidence that Barack Obama was born (or not born) in the United States is heating up once again. This time, it is millionaire Donald Trump (or billionaire if you’re asking Trump himself) who is leading the scavenger hunt. Tired of all of the hubbub about where he was born, the President is finally taking matters into his own hands by offering up an authentic treasure map to throw Trump off the birther scent. Continue Reading

Those closest to Queen Elizabeth are saying that she is becoming quite upset with the way American satirists are cashing in on the upcoming nuptials between her grandson and Kate Middleton. Although she has long gotten over the rude treatment she has personally received from satirists for years, the Queen’s beef is against American writers who have no idea how to write a decent spoof that sounds remotely like a Brit would have written it. Continue Reading

Dennis Miller always had aspirations of being the next Bill O’Reilly or “Billy” as he calls him, or the next Glenn Beck. But, even though he does have his own radio talk show, so far, it’s only gotten him a ticket as a guest wise ass on both of those shows. He wants to be in front of the cameras so bad he can taste it, and now that Glenn Beck is being forced from Fox News, he sees it as his big chance to get ahead in the business. Continue Reading

The CIA is mum on a new secret operation designed to take the Taliban out once and for all. The concept of Operation “Xbox 360 Fever” is based on this country’s own experience with realistic computer games. “It is mainly aimed at the male soldiers who know nothing but fighting since they were young,” said Lt. Col. Milton Bradley, no relation to General Omar Bradley. Continue Reading

Just as the rich say that breaking the cycle of poverty is a never-ending battle because it is self-perpetuating, some are now using that same logic to try and explain the unmitigated greed that is threatening to tear apart entire states such as Wisconsin and Michigan.

The rich, or as they like to refer to themselves as “the haves” say they simply can’t help it. Continue Reading

A more liberal-leaning sect of the Tea Party known as the Patriots for Pot are putting their money behind actor Morgan Freeman for President even though he’s not running (officially).

Dilbert “Doobie” Warner, President of the Patriots for Pot Party (PPP) located in Denver, Colorado says that the members of his party were faced with choosing a candidate to back from a list of some really heavy hitters, but in the end, Morgan Freeman was their number one choice. Continue Reading

Afraid of another air disaster involving a hole in the top of the passenger cabin, a major airline carrier has recently banned an overly tall traveler from boarding one of its jets en route from Oregon to California.

While the man was not nearly tall enough to reach the ceiling by merely standing up, flight attendants were worried that should he get the urge to suddenly jump up and down with glee–say in the event he was told that the flight he was on might actually arrive on time–he could possibly cause a hole in an already stressed roof panel, thereby creating a dangerous situation for the other passengers.

Last seen, the man was boarding a Southwest Airlines flight instead.

In an upcoming autobiography by Bill O’Reilly in which he prefers not to play himself, O’Reilly has hired Tom Hanks to step in and portray the “love him or hate him” darling of Fox News Channel.

“At first I thought, man, this is really weird,” says Hank about being approached to play Bill O in the book. “But the more I read about O’Reilly’s life, I realized this guy really needs help, so I said sure, why not?” Continue Reading

The first-ever nano-chip language translators are rolling off the assembly line and into cosmetic surgeons’ offices quicker than you can say “Se Habla Espanol?” No longer will it be necessary for those wishing to learn a second or even third language to go through the arduous process of weeks and weeks of studying tapes or attending language classes. Continue Reading

Losers around the world are waking up today to the sad realization that regardless of what they’ve been told in school and the workplace, the win-win scenario just doesn’t exist. “It’s a ploy,” said Winton Gardensalad from Montauk, NY. “I played along for most of my life and look where it’s gotten me,” he said from the sad little 8 x 10 room he calls home at the Happy-go-Lucky Retirement Center. Continue Reading

Cultivation of the US Government’s own strain of cannabis known as mellow-yellow by a government-sanctioned agricultural group known as Subsidi-Farm is being ramped up in order to help raise money for the latest war in Libya. The coffers are running dry when it comes to funding social programs, medical health programs and education, but with this latest source of income, the President hopes to stave off any criticism for borrowing more heavily from the Chinese to maintain our presence in 3 wars. Continue Reading

Michaele Salahi was recently kicked off the reality show Celebrity Rehab due to the fact that she couldn’t produce a discernable addiction. Now, her husband Tareq has threatened to sue if they don’t take her back.

The Salahis claim that Michaele is probably more messed up than anyone on the show, but not having a visible addiction or affliction is keeping her from being able to participate in the rehabilitation program. Continue Reading