Author: Nicholas Vrchoticky
Man warns parents to keep kids home on Halloween after losing $600 in edibles
Shullsburg, NH — Feeling anxious and well on his way to type II diabetes, local resident Dave Matters frantically consumes bag after bag of Halloween candy after losing $600 worth of THC edibles in the seasonal aisle of Shullsburg Grocery….
Scientists Discover Saying “It’s a Fact” Actually Does Make Anything True
University of California, Los Angeles — Throwing research papers 16.21 meters into the air, scientists at UCLA labs have given up on the scientific method in favor of a less obscure and less studied method of fact-finding. According to the…
“Managing Student Loans Is Easy,” Says Man Who Faked His Own Death 20 Years Ago
GLACIER, WA— In an attempt to educate young hopefuls on how to one day relieve themselves of student loan debt, Earl Main spoke to a group of recent graduates who had made the journey to his woodland retreat. Through the…
WARNING! WARNING! INCELS REACH ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST!
You can follow @NickVrchoticky here on Twitter. Incels, short for “involuntary celibates”, are a self-proclaimed minority, formerly known as ‘Nice Guys,’ and their species is having a crisis. No matter how hard they work, how hard they whine, or how…
Facebook Announces it Will be Closing its Doors Cos… All Facebook Accounts are FAKE ANYWAY!
Over the past six months, Facebook has removed over 3.2 billion fake accounts, following the 3 billion it removed in the six months before that. Today, they’ll be closing their doors for good because, as Suckerburger or Zuchiniburg (or whatever)…
SCANDAL! State of Kentucky Approves JOINT CUSTODY of Governor’s Office!
When results came in from the polls this month, the United States had its first case of bipartisan joint custody for a political office, as a way of finally settling a domestic dispute between both of Kentucky’s state governors. And…