Author: Liberties-Taken
Satan is Suing His Insurance Company
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. This guy claiming to be the Devil phones and asks that we interview him. Turns out Satan doesn’t look a bit like I imagined. He’s kinda hot really. He looks…
CBS Announces New Reality Show Will ‘Buy American’
LOS ANGELES, California (GlossyNews) The producer of TV’s popular “Amazing Race” today revealed expansion plans for the profitable franchise. Speaking from Malibu’s exclusive ‘Psst, You can smoke in here’ Bistro, Lane Fontana wowed reporters. His remarks were also well received…
Greek Austerity Plan Revealed – The Gods are Not Pleased
ATHENS, Greece (GlossyNews) — Today on Mt. Olympus, hearts were broken, tears were shed, and millennia long careers ended as the news was made official. In obedience to the EU bailout plan, Greece has reluctantly agreed; lots of gods and…
Study Reveals Jobless Feel Frustrated
WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) — Delores Delgado, Under Assistant Secretary for the Obvious today held a joint news conference with NIH director Dr. Gary Carey, to announce results of a five year research project many found alarming and disturbing. Per the…
Stupid Adventure Girl Feared Safe
ANTOFAGASTA, Chile (GlossyNewsSA) — Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. OK, when that little boy climbed Everest, we thought it was sweet. He was with his Poppy, and there’s a mob of helpers and guides on…
Unemployed Veteran Forgets Mother’s Birthday
BUFFALO, New York (GlossyNews) — In what Tri-State area Tea Party leaders are calling further evidence of our culture’s collapse, 38-year-old Lance Kilbane, an unemployed welder, has forgotten to honor his mother on her birthday. Speaking to reporters while completing…
Worried Investors Turn to Aluminum
Arkadelphia, AR (GlossyNews) — As fears of a sluggish recovery keep stock markets anemic, more investors are seeking safe haven in aluminum; a metal some call the new platinum. The shift comes as a surprise, even to Wall Street insiders….
Dutch Guy Murderer? Well, Duh…
Lima, Peru (GlossyNewsSA) — Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. Slime weasel Joran van der Sloot has been handed over to Peruvian authorities, because he finally killed a chica where there wasn’t no deep water around….
Christian Group to Boycott Deviled Eggs
Sao Paulo, Brasil (GlossyNewsSA) Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. Patrons at “Betty’s Eat-n-Greet” in Bon Temps, Louisiana voiced mixed reactions today on learning controversial religious leader Fred Phelps is at it again in their neighborhood….
Economy Causes Jupiter Cloud Downsizing
Boat-Upon-River, Oxfordshire, England, Great Britain (GlossyUKNews) — Professor Percy Hyde-Warf spoke from Oxford’s esteemed Council on Planetary Stuff this week on the planet Jupiter’s recent atmospheric changes. The CPS Director told reporters, “In short ladies and gentlemen, it’s those bloody…