Rhode Island Announces Plans to Secede from Union, Align with Zanzibar

Providence, RI (GlossyNews) Finally fed up with being classified as the America’s smallest state and with the perceived lack of respect accompanying that classification, teeny, weeny Rhode Island announced plans today to sever ties with the other 49 states. With size in mind, Rhode Island officials specifically chose to merge with Zanzibar based primarily on the east African country’s physical dimensions.

“We wanted to chose someplace relatively small so that we would seem proportionately larger than we do in the U.S.,” explained Vito Gigante, spokesman for the Rhode Island General Assembly, to no one in particular. When informed that Zanzibar no longer exists as an independent nation, Gigante appeared crestfallen. “Well, that’s a setback,” he admitted. “Still, the people of Rhode Island have spoken and we’re pretty sure that they might want to do this; so it’s full steam ahead.”

“Besides,” he said, “there’s always Prussia.”

Author: keileenl

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