Posted in Human Interest

Life Coach Recommends Obsessive, Idiosyncratic Behaviour to Earn Immortality by Word Coinage

Dateline: TORONTO—Melvin Meister’s Labour of Fame Organization, founded in 1973, has been vindicated over forty years later, as the Oxford English Dictionary added the word “smeelian” to its account of the English language, in recognition of the life’s work of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Life Coach Recommends Obsessive, Idiosyncratic Behaviour to Earn Immortality by Word Coinage
Posted in Religionism

Donald Trump, the Antichrist, is “Close Enough to Christ,” said Evangelical Leader

Dateline: LICKSKILLET, KY—Evangelical Christians are supporting President Donald Trump, because “he’s probably the Antichrist and that’s close enough,” according to evangelical leader Leon Birdbrain.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Donald Trump, the Antichrist, is “Close Enough to Christ,” said Evangelical Leader
Posted in Talky Pictures

Disney Studios Rooting for the Empire in Future Star Wars Films, says Hollywood insider

Dateline: BURBANK—Disney Studios is rooting for the Empire to defeat the rebels in its upcoming Star Wars films, according to Hollywood insider Wily Hangeron. (Be warned that spoilers for The Last Jedi follow.)

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Disney Studios Rooting for the Empire in Future Star Wars Films, says Hollywood insider
Posted in Health

Doctors are Heroic for facing Blood and Guts without Puking, says Surgeon

Dateline: WHYNOT, NC—Surgeons are responding to the criticism that they’re vain and overpaid, by asking the critics to imagine what it’s like being elbow-deep in blood and guts.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Doctors are Heroic for facing Blood and Guts without Puking, says Surgeon
Posted in Making Headlines Society

Woman sues Women Studies Feminists for preventing her from Sleeping her way to the Top

Dateline: NY CITY—Miss Marylou Ditsy is suing Women Studies departments in colleges across the United States, for creating an atmosphere of political correctness that she alleges has prevented her from sleeping her way to the top.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Woman sues Women Studies Feminists for preventing her from Sleeping her way to the Top
Posted in Talky Pictures

Hollywood’s Schlocky Movies are Payback for China’s Shoddy Merchandise, says Industry Insider

Dateline: HOLLYWOOD—The American movie industry has been releasing the simplest, dumbest possible movies for overseas markets, especially in China, to pay back the Chinese for flooding the American market with shoddy merchandise, according to Hollywood insider, Wily Hangeron.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hollywood’s Schlocky Movies are Payback for China’s Shoddy Merchandise, says Industry Insider
Posted in Talky Pictures

Hollywood Reboots itself, Giving Creative Class over Movie Executives and Producers

Dateline: HOLLYWOOD—After having rebooted all of its hit movies from past decades, Hollywood has finally gotten around to rebooting itself. The schedule for the reboots consists of a long actual list for of movies to be remade for foreign and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hollywood Reboots itself, Giving Creative Class over Movie Executives and Producers
Posted in Society

Sexual Battle Lines drawn between Toxically Masculine Trolls & Devious Lesbian Feminists, Argues Social Scientist

Dateline: WHYNOT, NC—Hermann Gunzenhauser, a social scientist at True Dat University, has published a paper extrapolating the long-term effects of the proliferating allegations of sexual harassment and molestation in the entertainment industry and in government, business, and all other social…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Sexual Battle Lines drawn between Toxically Masculine Trolls & Devious Lesbian Feminists, Argues Social Scientist
Posted in Politics

Mainstream News Anchor Proves he Understands Trump’s Presidency by Repeatedly Punching Himself in Face

Dateline: ATLANTA—A newly hired news anchor at CNN, Guy Hoogetsit, has criticized his colleagues at the cable news station for failing to understand the point of Donald Trump’s election, and maintains that the only way for members of the corporate…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mainstream News Anchor Proves he Understands Trump’s Presidency by Repeatedly Punching Himself in Face
Posted in Technology

Deaf Inventor of Leaf Blower Unveils new Noisy Devices

Dateline: PITTSBURGH—Manny Hornblower, the deaf inventor of the leaf blower, has unveiled a series of new inventions, including the gas-powered page-turner, the motorized tea bag dipper, and the jet-fuelled food-chewing aid. The gas-powered leaf blower is popular with landscaping companies…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Deaf Inventor of Leaf Blower Unveils new Noisy Devices