Dateline: NY CITY—Miss Marylou Ditsy is suing Women Studies departments in colleges across the United States, for creating an atmosphere of political correctness that she alleges has prevented her from sleeping her way to the top.
Since Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein made headlines for allegedly raping, sexually assaulting, or harassing many women over a period of decades, hundreds of other women have made similar charges against powerful men in government, the entertainment industry, and journalism.
No further evidence has been needed other than the women’s having come forward with allegations of the men’s misconduct, for the men to be tried in the court of public opinion and for them to step down or be fired in disgrace.
“Powerful men are afraid now of even being alone with female employees,” said Miss Ditsy. “And you can forget about them hitting on you, since they know the woman might turn around later if things don’t work out, and call his attempt to seduce her ‘harassment.’ So now how am I supposed to use my long legs and big tits to exploit my male boss’s superficiality and horniness and get ahead in business?”
One of Miss Ditsy’s lawyers explains that feminists in Women Studies department have made sluttiness in the workplace unfeasible.
“Much like my client,” said her lawyer, “who has no nonsexual skills to speak of, Women Studies professors have no idea what they’re doing. Their discipline is a sham, their philosophy a joke. But the difference is that the feminists deal with their lack of talent by playing victims on a pseudo-professional basis, whereas my client has taken it upon herself to make the best of unpleasant reality and to use men’s weakness for sex, to succeed in life.”
“Feminists have no right to take away my one advantage,” said Miss Ditsy. “Genetics blessed me with a slamming hot body and that’s all male bosses care about, because their powerful position naturally turns them into monsters.
“Everyone knows there’s a give and take in the real world of business. No one makes it to the top on their own. The powerful men themselves only reached the pinnacle in their fields because they’re white and their rich parents paid for their Ivory League education which awards them with bogus diplomas, since their parents’ donations to the college mean they could never have flunked out even if they were dumb as posts. Just look at George W. Bush and Donald Trump.
“And then when they reach the top, their job is just to be a dick all day. All the real work is done by the lowly employees you never hear about. So if men can skate by on their class privileges and their sociopathic tendencies, why can’t an attractive young woman flirt with the gatekeepers and even sleep with them to further her career?”
One social scientist points to a culture of political correctness which has lost its grip on reality: “It’s politically incorrect now to say that generally speaking, men and women are naturally unequal in various ways. The liberal myth of equality prevents feminists from acknowledging that only monsters want power because power turns you into a monster, and that men are better at being monsters than are women, because men are more aggressive, which is a polite way of saying that men are generally assholes.”
For that reason, said Miss Ditsy, “powerful men are eager to pretend that they’re taking advantage of their female employees’ weakness, by hitting on them in obnoxious ways, whereas often it’s the women who are trying to get ahead in the office by making the best of their absurd situation of having to humour their creepy male boss who can be bribed with something as trivial as sexual favours.”
Strippers usually feel the same way about their customers, according to exotic dancer Candy Boobs. “I hear from feminists trying to shame me for making a spectacle of my naked body on stage,” she said. “‘Have more respect for yourself,’ they tell me. ‘Get a real job.’
“But these feminists live in a fantasy world. Most of them are ugly as sin in the first place, so they’re just jealous that a woman can make so much money with so little effort, whereas they’re the ones making fools of themselves in public, spouting postmodern, overheated PC garbage.
“More than that, though, in the real world, most men are pigs. Period. So why not make money off their piggishness? Why not exploit their sexual weakness and get paid big time just for shaking your ass? You know why there are far more strip clubs for male customers than for female ones, all over the world? Because men and women aren’t equal, never were, and never will be. Men are way worse than women! And the smart women take advantage of that inequality instead of trying to deny it exists and pushing their PC fantasies onto everyone else.”
As to how Miss Ditsy can afford to pay her team of lawyers in her class action lawsuit, even though by her admission she has no business skills and is being unfairly prevented from sleeping her way to the top, you can see her perform as an exotic dancer with Miss Boobs Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Male Suckers strip club in New York City.
By J Chang from USA (Miami Eroticaxxx 5-9-09 Canon 013) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons