Posted in Biz News War Zone

Officials Discover Al Qaeda Operating Rogue Aviation Network: Low Fares but Horrible Safety Record

TIMBUKTU, Mali – In early 2008, an official at the U.S. Department of Homeland Security sent a report to his superiors detailing the most significant development in aircraft usage since 2001: al Qaeda has been operating a rogue aviation network….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Officials Discover Al Qaeda Operating Rogue Aviation Network: Low Fares but Horrible Safety Record
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

The McQueen is Dead — Waifs Around the World Panic

LONDON, U.K. — Shock waves rattled the foundations of the fashion industry Thursday when designer Alexander McQueen’s death made headlines. McQueen, 40, was found unresponsive at his London home. Paramedics pronounced him dead at the scene, with preliminary reports calling…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The McQueen is Dead — Waifs Around the World Panic
Posted in Human Interest

Ancient New England Dialect Extinct After Last Speaker Dies

BOSTON, Massachusetts — One of the country’s oldest dialects, which traces its origins to before the American Revolution, has become extinct after the last person to speak it died. Winthrop Quincy Endicott Lowell VI, the last surviving heir to the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ancient New England Dialect Extinct After Last Speaker Dies
Posted in Sports Scandals Sportsfolk

Bowling Scandal Diverts Negative Attention from Tiger Woods

CHEYENNE, WY – Still recovering from the Tiger Woods scandal, the sports world finds itself mired in yet another public spectacle. Three-time PBA tour champion Slim “Fats” Fettwanst is suing Lurlene Jenks, owner of the “Preemptive Strikes” 32-lane bowling alley…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bowling Scandal Diverts Negative Attention from Tiger Woods
Posted in Human Interest

Hollister Co. Sues Hollister, CA For Existing

HOLLISTER, CA — A group of British executives representing 11 Hollister Co. stores in the United Kingdom suffered through a horrific 48-hour ordeal when they accidentally traveled to Hollister, California, mistaking it for the origin of the eponymous clothing brand.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hollister Co. Sues Hollister, CA For Existing
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Television

Heather Mills Disqualified and Booted Off “Dancing on Ice”

LONDON, U.K. — Heather Mills, former wife of Paul McCartney, has struggled over the past few years to change her public image from that of an attention hungry, gold-digging opportunist to an inspirational role model for disadvantaged women worldwide. Mills…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Heather Mills Disqualified and Booted Off “Dancing on Ice”
Posted in Religionism Science

Berkeley Sociologists Urge Americans to Stay the Hell Away from Alaska

Since learning of Phil Harris’ death a few weeks ago, sociologists from U.C. Berkeley have been working feverishly to complete a lengthy report on life — and more importantly, death — in the 49th state. Today, they published their preliminary…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Berkeley Sociologists Urge Americans to Stay the Hell Away from Alaska
Posted in Health

Report Shows Americans Healthier Than Ever – 20 Million Give Up Health Insurance

Americans have long enjoyed a position of hard fought superiority over the rest of the world’s citizens. For centuries, Americans have both rocked and kicked ass. Just ask them. The United States is often promoted as a paragon of military…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Report Shows Americans Healthier Than Ever – 20 Million Give Up Health Insurance
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Ben Affleck More at Home Among Family Men Than Company Men

“I love being a father,” Ben Affleck said to reporters who actually had asked him about his new film “The Company Men,” the arrest of his wife’s stalker, and of his wife’s revelation to W Magazine that she will never…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ben Affleck More at Home Among Family Men Than Company Men
Posted in Politics

Tom Tancredo’s Teen Traveling Companion Shot Dead in Georgia Convenience Store

DENVER, Colorado — As an advocate for eugenics, former Colorado congressman Tom Tancredo is hardly a trailblazer. He follows in the footsteps of pioneers such as Strom Thurmond, George Wallace and David Duke. But what Tancredo lacks in originality, he…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Tom Tancredo’s Teen Traveling Companion Shot Dead in Georgia Convenience Store