Author: Bargis Tryhol
TSA Screeners Get X-Ray Vision Glasses ($1.98 Each) Plus 2 Wheaties Box Tops
Boston, MA – GlossyNews – The TSA announced a new weapon in the fight against terrorism. All agents will be issued a set of X-ray vision glasses as part of an overall upgrade and proceeds from a grant from DC…
Suicide Bomber Surprise – Few of 72 Virgins Young or Women
TEHRAN, Iran – Future suicide bombers around the globe woke up with a jolt today, when they realized they faced a surprising religious announcement from a leading Iranian cleric. No, it wasn’t the sound of their vests exploding, but it…
Woman Gives Self Face Lift Using a Simple Hammer & Hand Mirror
At 52 years old and recently divorced, Hog Jaw’s own Elsie Piebottom was feeling the sags and wrinkles of years of an outdoor lifestyle. A face lift was her dream and she did inquire with several top-notch surgeons about a…
Infamous Miley Cyrus ‘Up Skirt’ Photo to Appear on Postage Stamp
The US Postal Service Postmaster General, Melvis P. Phelps, introduced the new Miley Cyrus Upskirt Postage Stamp to a mostly stunned and open mouthed crowd of reporters. Over the hushed crowd, he immediately tried to explain the importance of bringing…
Lost WWII Japanese Battalion Found Still Huddled in Trenches
Manila, Philippines – Back pay mathematics is going to be a real tough chore for the Japanese Army to estimate in the next few months. Especially for the 134 men who’ve been on continuous combat duty in the mountains of…
Ex-nazi on Trial Regrets He Didn’t Do Enough
Former Ukranian concentration camp guard John Demjanjuk’s trial began today for the murders committed when he served as a Nazi camp guard in German occupied Russia. Earning the title ‘Ivan the Terrible’ for his frequent use of torture, indiscriminate terror…
Ahmadinejad: ‘Concentration Camps Merely Weight Loss Centers For Rich Jews’
Tehran, Iran Iran’s president offered his candid remarks in a televised address to Iran’s Righteous Council that he was proud to stoke international outrage with his latest remarks denying the Holocaust ever existed, and was mostly a fabricated lie. The…
Glenn Beck Audience at Record Levels – Liberals Stunned
The highly viewed FOX television show The Glenn Beck Show has surged upward in viewership the last few weeks with the media industry Nomitron Ratings at an unheard of 9.4 high. The only other broadcast to hit anywhere near this mark…
Faulty Air Valve Causes Pelosi’s Head to Deflate During Televised Address
It was a sight so disturbing that parents covered children’s eyes as they, themselves, gasped at the horrifying images being played on TV screens across America. It too horrified other members of Congress so severely, that Capitol Police were called…
‘Jersey Shore’ Cast Leaves Vast Greasy Oil Slick Off NJ Beach
EPA officials issued a temporary restraining order against the cast and crew of the popular MTV show ‘Jersey Shore.’ The restraining order cited the discovery of a 14 mile greasy oil slick that spread northward from Seaside Heights up to Sandy…