Ringling Brothers Circus Sues Republicans And Democrats Over Rights ToThe Title “Greatest Circus On Earth”.

Ringling Brothers Circus is suing both the Republican and Democratic Parties for infringements on the copyright claim of running ‘The Biggest Circus In The World’. The Ringling Brothers, for a century the largest traveling circus on the circuit, is now upset that the two Presidential Parties are now cutting into their business.

“Our clowns are at least professional!” stated Ringling Manager Chuck D. Cheese, a midget with the circus, as I held the mike down so he could speak up into it. “When we get laughs it is because we intend to. And we don’t wear no three piece suits trying to look normal.” Read more Ringling Brothers Circus Sues Republicans And Democrats Over Rights ToThe Title “Greatest Circus On Earth”.

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Aging Gingrich Sucking Life Out of Youthful Santorum Race

Volunteers for GOP candidate Rick Santorum say they are growing more tired by the day trying to come up with good things to say about Newt Gingrich in order to keep the Gingrich/Santorum tag team going against candidate Mitt Romney.

“At first we thought, ok, Newt is a bright dude, he has a bit more Washington experience than our Rick does, and ganging up on Romney would get us further than if we went after him ourselves,” said Jim Voeticki, chief organizer of the Santorum campaign. Read more Aging Gingrich Sucking Life Out of Youthful Santorum Race

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Recycling Republicans

SCENARIO- A secret laboratory deep underground beneath the American Heritage Think Tank And Karaoke Lounge in Washington. It is a room filled with strange scientific paraphernalia- tubes transporting strangely colored liquids run here and there connecting into buzzing machines. Varied colored indicator lights flicker on and off. All of these things seem to center upon a mysterious, human-shaped chamber filled with swirling gases in the middle of the room. Read more Recycling Republicans

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Steve Jobs returns as Hologram

Apple Inc. announced today its founder did not ‘go gentle into that good night.’ Instead, Steve re-booted. Developer Etta Place told reporters, “We don’t hawk that ‘quantum leap forward’ jazz; we’re not Microsoft. Our work speaks for itself. What we’ve accomplished is Virtual Cloning.”

Ms. Place went on to explain VC had been a 2019 scheduled product release, but Job’s final contribution was leadership of the accelerated development timetable. Read more Steve Jobs returns as Hologram

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Study: Web Spamming Causes HerpatitAIDS

If you are reading this, it’s almost certianly because you are a spammer, or rather, a would-be spammer, since the block is what led you to this page. Congratulations, your herpes now has AIDS in addition to hepatitis.

Spammer Jason Blargfarious emailed administrators from his fresh hotmail account to say, “Hey, I’m not a Spammer! Why have I been directed here?” adding, “You can have a COK LIKE A CLUB using this one simple trick! Doctors hate me!”

The Spammer was reminded that it isn’t merely doctors who hate him, but literally everyone, since it’s his profession to destroy the inherent value of the internet. Read more Study: Web Spamming Causes HerpatitAIDS

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