Month: December 2009
New Credit Card Rules- Vaseline and Dinner Out
Today is the first day of the new credit card rules mandated by Congress. For the first time in our history, these companies must now offer to “lube up” and to take you out to dinner at a “mid-priced or…
Michigan Bigfoot Sightings On the Rise
Mt. Clemens, MI – With the cold weather approaching, there have been quite a few Bigfoot sightings in the Mt. Clemens area, the most recent occurring last Sunday behind the local Buffalo Wild Wings Grill and Bar out on 15…
GOP Officially Declares Moral Bankruptcy
Washington DC – Long accused of being morally corrupt by most of their critics, the GOP today filed papers in Federal court declaring moral bankruptcy to the nth degree. Wiping back what looked to be actual tears, Senator Lindsey Graham…
Palin Arrested in Pre-Dawn Raid on Wasilla
Following a blitzkrieg pre-dawn raid on her rural Anchorage six bedroom igloo, involving ice picks, hot air guns and a flamethrower, a Homeland Security strike force this morning arrested failed Republican VP wannabe Sarah Palin on charges of subversion, domestic…
A Real Look into Impoverished America: drugs, Prostitution & Violence
A real look into the impoverished areas of America: their drug use, prostitution, violence… and why they happen! Written from my own personal working experience… It takes someone who has really hardened his or her heart to integrate into some…
Tiger Woods Played 9 Holes Sunday Morning
Later in the day, he took in a round of golf.
Zhu Zhu Pet Toymakers in Deep Zhu Zhu
Makers of this year’s most popular children’s toys, the Zhu Zhu Pet, are doing everything they can to avoid a recall of the toy after a report issued by Good Guide indicates that the toys contain a potentially dangerous amount…
Country Still Thinking with Its Penis
Washington DC (with reports from elsewhere) — Almost since time has been recorded, “mine’s bigger than yours”, or m-b-t-y, has been on the lips of every aggressive type-A male in the United States. Our country’s presidents are no exception. Sometimes…
Khymer Henchman Claims Genocide ‘Hard Work’, Demands Freedom
Former Khmer Rouge prison chief Douche Bagg today shocked the UN-funded war crimes tribunal by demanding to be released on the final day of his trial for crimes against humanity, shoplifting and double parking in a restricted zone. The UN’s…
Live Guinea Pigs Used to Test Safety of Zhu Zhu Pets
In an ironic twist of fate, the very animals that Zhu Zhu Pets are fashioned after are being used to test the toxic levels of antimony in the fur and noses of the popular Christmas toy, and the live pets…