Courts: Police Authority Can Be Sexually Transmitted

Atlanta, GA, (GlossyNews): A Federal Court of Appeals today set a stunning new precedent with their decision in the case of Mego-Mart, et al v. Doe. According to the unanimous ruling, official law enforcement powers, and, specifically, police arresting authority, are transferable from police officers to others via semen. Read more Courts: Police Authority Can Be Sexually Transmitted

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As Economy Goes Down, Prostitutes Don’t

NEVADA – It’s no secret that the U.S. economy is not in the best of shape. Between the sub-prime mortgage crisis, the credit crunch, the soaring price of oil and the weak dollar, times are tough and getting tougher all the time.

But until now it’s only affected us in minor ways, a foreclosed home here, a family unable to afford gasoline and groceries there, maybe the occasional collapse of the automotive and financial industries. Nothing to get your panties in a twist over. Read more As Economy Goes Down, Prostitutes Don’t

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White House Party Gate Crashed by ‘Vulgarians’

US Secret Service agents today refused to be interviewed by Jacko McScrunt, – the Scallies and Yobs page columnist for the International Daily Shitraker – who was investigating reports that a couple of scumbag social climbers trespassed last night’s state dinner at the White House – with the SS office simply issuing the singular dismissive statement that the matter was ‘secret’. Read more White House Party Gate Crashed by ‘Vulgarians’

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Problem Seekers Look no Further, Hank Offers Advice

Listen all you wayward citizens of the world, a new day dawned a couple months back, and the answers to your questions is here. His name is Hank, and he will tackle anything you can throw at him. But Hank needs your help. Hank needs more questions to answer.

Do you want advice? Do you need it like a stripper needs another fifteen bucks before she can go home without owing the house money? Read more Problem Seekers Look no Further, Hank Offers Advice

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Alcohol ‘Protects Men’s Hearts’, Jokes Included

After hearing – and reading – so much crap for so long – that alcohol stuffs up your liver, brain cells, memory, gives you gout, causes stomach ulcers, Diabetes B – Mk 1, 2 and 3 varieties, and a plethora of other internal and external physical nasties – plus a few psychotic problems such as hallucinations, delirium tremens, galloping paranoia and psychopathic tendencies – our esteemed government are now pronouncing it’s actually quite good for you – to the extent of – and here we quote – “it protects men’s hearts”. Read more Alcohol ‘Protects Men’s Hearts’, Jokes Included

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Safety of Genetic Engineered Food Argument: Not a Scientific debate but Rhetorical dispute

Throughout history, the essence of technological progress has been its unpredictable applications (e.g. polluting industries and printing presses). Innovations are always a double-edged sword. In the past, technology innovations have taken humanity forward beyond anyone’s imagination. Thus some people argue that if we always relied on long-term safety data instead of short-term practicality (provided by innovations) to determine what technology should be and shouldn’t be used, then very little science can actually be applied. (Mokyr 1) Other side argues that some of the new technologies today, such as genetically modified (GM) food, are far too dangerous to allow chances to determine its future. Read more Safety of Genetic Engineered Food Argument: Not a Scientific debate but Rhetorical dispute

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