Minneapolis Bridge To Somewhere, Presumably

Interstate 35W Bridge in Minneapolis, MN — Yes, you got it right! Gov. Sarah Palin was on the scene for the grand opening of the I35W bridge that really does go somewhere. “It is kind of on the cutting edge. It’s wonderful. What a beautiful bridge. It’s terrific.” she said. Her smile seemed slightly forced, as this bridge was build for far less money than her bridge was budgeted for, but never got built. The numbers: $230+ million in Minnesota vs. $400+ million in Alaska. Read more Minneapolis Bridge To Somewhere, Presumably

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Mall Santas to Goldman Sachs: Hand Over the Vaccine

New York, NY – In a jolly but firm tone, the Association of Mall Santas (AMS) has issued a formal demand to Wall Street giant Goldman Sachs to hand over all their doses of the swine flu vaccine to the thousands of Mall Santas across the country who are going into this holiday season woefully unprepared to face one of the deadliest flu viruses to hit the world in recent memory. “If Virginia were alive today,” said one jolly old elf, “she’d be at high risk of catching a deadly disease from her most beloved adult figure. Yes, Virginia, there is a swine flu-carrying Santa Claus after all.” Read more Mall Santas to Goldman Sachs: Hand Over the Vaccine

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Rumpy Pumpy: E-USSR Presidential Favourite

Belgian Prime Minister Herman van Rumpy Pumpy appears to be the frontrunner for selection as the dystopic E-USSR’s first permanent president at a summit in Brussels this coming Thursday.

The centre-right of left leader has a reputation as a canny duckfat chewer with a self-deprecating sense of humour (he jams sticks of rhubarb in his ears and does reindeer impersonations) which has helped him to hold together a fractious national coalition government who have suffered several calamitous ‘giggle’ failures this past two years after he abolished the Ministry for Graft and Corruption. Read more Rumpy Pumpy: E-USSR Presidential Favourite

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What is Wrong with our Legal System in America?

The main feature that separates humans from animals, in a world where humans possess “inalienable rights” and animals do not, is Descartes’ famous Cognito. However, I do not think it’s complete when Plato declared that it’s reason that defines us and makes us human. I believe “some” of those people whom we deem “retards” — people with less cognitive facilities — never-the-less encapsulate the same emotions as a normal person. They feel and have strong emotional preferences just as we do. They can love, get hurt, and possess all the vulnerabilities as we mortals have. Read more What is Wrong with our Legal System in America?

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