Category: Politics
Trump blames Alt Left for Cross Dressed Statues
An angry and mentally battered President Trump condemned the Alt-Left for vandalizing Confederate Statues in several cities overnight; including dressing one up in a pink bra and layered skirt.
Liberals Accused of Insensitivity for Mocking Mentally-Disordered President Trump
Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Martha Mollycoddle, the mother of a man diagnosed as a psychopath and currently undergoing treatment in a hospital for the criminally insane, has begun a campaign to shame liberals and Democrats for mocking President Trump as a result…
God Praised for Outfitting Donald Trump with Self-Destruct Button
Dateline: LOS ANGELES—Thousands of Americans, who resist Donald Trump’s presidency on the grounds that he is literally a psychopath, have formed a religious group calling for praise of God for supplying the psychopath Donald Trump with a self-destruct button. The…
Second-Grade Satirist Furious: 10 Whole Websites Steal His ‘Scaramucci Joke’
A certain low-grade satirist is upset that no fewer than ten edgy satire outlets have stolen his Scaramucci joke. Bigoted, disrespectful moron One Tongue Johnny wantonly abused his freedom of speech privileges by screaming:
Mensa Makes Special Genius Category For Trump.
Mensa, the international high intelligence group that only accepts people who pass a difficult IQ test, have in the age of Trump found a troubling enigma that has causes them to review their intelligence statuses. The present President-select has provided…
News Media Confuse Viewers by Speaking as if all Oligarchs are Russian
Dateline: TENNESSEE—American corporate news media baffle viewers by presupposing that all oligarchs are Russian citizens. “You never hear CNN speak of American oligarchs,” said news media watcher Alonzo Plompus. “For some unknown reason, whenever you hear about oligarchs on cable…
Steve King: Build Border Wall with Food Stamp Recipients, Planned Parenthood Doctors
Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) is calling for using food stamp recipients and Planned Parenthood workers to help build President Trump’s southern border wall, the Washington Examiner reported Wednesday. Food stamp recipients would become part of the foundation of the wall,…
We Are A Fly On The Wall At The Republican Formation Of The New Health Plan.
We are a fly on the wall at the Republican formation of the new health plan. “What are we going to do?” whispered Mitch McConnell secretly to Mike Pence. “If we don’t get this new AbominableCare bill through our handlers…
Trump Scores “Tremendous” Deal w/Putin, Gets Full Refund on Alaska
Having met with top campaign contributor and social media guru Vladimir Putin, Trump came out glowing with the announcement that Alaska will be returned to Russia for “a full refund, cash!”
President Trump Attended Secret Workshops to Learn How to Lie like a Politician
Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Leaders in both the Democratic and Republican parties have been holding secret workshops with President Trump to teach him how to lie well.