Billy Bragg & Boris: Latest Song Parody Unites the Right & Left!

Tories

I may be an Eton toff peddling lard and vaseline

But now I’m full of vanilla sherbet and the only way I see

Is to make sure I make a killing of all who oppose my party line

And ban letterboxes

She says my fucks are disappointing

But I think that I should warn her

That my spiffing reign of crazy

Now is just around the corner

In the European Union

A Cognac Queen is crying

A tank-topped Belgian kiddiespaffer’s constantly reminded

That we’ve had our fill of experts and we’ll give them merry hell

From the first Big Ben pealing!

I’m in my gaff in Westminster and the only noise I hear

Is lefty tank-topped bum boys

Piccaninnies and watermelon beer

Wait is someone asking questions?

Let’s make sure we treat ’em right

And give them 15 seconds of verbal from our speechwriters

Mixing graft and politics I ask them what the use is

Of idly lamenting Southern wankers and their myriad abuses

While looking at the television and

Oh darling! Fleet Street now are waiting

Is this finally MY Great Leap Forward?

Stripping sales are organised and notices are posted

Even when the cocaine’s run done we’ve still piggies to be roasted

You can be a Cayman wanker’s activist or sleeping with the fishes…

Er, PIGGIES!…

Oh I’m a spaffed up cokehead Eton twat

Will politics give me the sack?

Waiting for MY Great Leap Forward!

Here comes their future, they just can’t run from it

If you’ve got a piggie rump I just want to bum it

It’s a mighty tight way up a piglet’s hole

From PMQT to smashing grams on the dole

If no-one ever understands

I’ll start my own revolution and dial a secret hit on the taxman

In a perfect country we’d all sing in tune

But I’m a pigfucking coke-snorting spaffer loon

So join the farmyard orgy today

I’ve buggered more farm life than Theresa May

WAITING FOR MY GREAT SPAFF FORWARD!

Originally published on Medium.

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at wallacerunnymede#gmail.com (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!

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