Trumpisms 2.0: Can We Bear Another 4 Years???

President Trump

ED: Guess who’s back… again!

Did you enjoy the first instalment?

Here’s Richard Selzer with some more!

51

Trump has single-handedly taken us

from the Bronze Age

to the Age of Irony.

52

The Indecent of Man or

Trump and the Theory of Devolution

 

53

Impeachment polls are confusing,

interpretation depending on the viewer.

Glass half-empty/half-full.

Trump half-crazy/half-assed.

 

54

Once again, with a self-incriminating

slip of the tongue

Trump fell on his word.

 

55

When Trump ceremoniously approaches the podium

the dumb-roll begins.

 

56

What is Trump’s favorite meal?

Tweet and potatoes.

 

57

When Trump is finally impeached and jailed

his loyal base will chant:

“Free Dumb!”

 

58

Republicans are closing ranks.

The stench in the White House is very rank.

They should issue gas masks,

and hold close-out sales on political influence.

 

59

Trump’s expected response when Putin invades Estonia —

“Kudos for creativity.

That was a fresh mode of aggression.”

 

60

Trump is a grammatical mistake —

he doesn’t agree with himself.

 

61

Trump’s Twitter novel

The Followship of the Felon,

flopped.

It was too hard to keep track of 280 characters.

 

62

Rumor has it that the NY Times

is going to change its name

to acknowledge the curse we live under —

The Interesting Times.

 

63

Perhaps Rudy doesn’t work for Trump for free,

rather he pays Trump

for the right to call himself Trump’s lawyer.

It’s a licensing agreement

for the Trump brand of influence peddling.

 

64

Lindsey Graham,

a technological wonder —

a living breathing

hollow gram.

 

65

I’m imagining a portrait of an old lady in a rocking chair,

with the caption —

Whistleblower’s Mother.

 

66

Impeachment is all about chump change —

Changing the chump in the White House.

 

67

Trump’s legacy —

A plaque on his chair that reads:

Here sat

The Dumb Ass.

 

68

How does Trump pay bribes?

With seafood.That’s squid pro quo.

 

69

Why did Trump hire Harry Potter?

Because he’s a pro at quidditch

 

70

Trump just married the Ukraine.

Congratulate the happy

bribe and groom.

 

71

Trump’s favorite novel,

the international best seller —

The Bribe Price.

Author: Richard Seltzer

Now a publisher of electronic books, I worked for DEC, the minicomputer company, for 19 years, as writer, marketing consultant, and "Internet Evangelist." I graduated from Yale, with a major in English, and earned an MA from the U. of Mass. at Amherst in Comparative Literature (French, Russian, and German). At Yale, I had creative writing courses with Robert Penn Warren and Joseph Heller. Personal web site (with over 1000 documents) http://www.seltzerbooks.com My published works include: The Name of Hero, historical novel (Houghton Mifflin) Ethiopia Through Russian Eyes, translation from the Russian (Red Sea Press) "...the most important book on the history of eastern Africa to have been published for a century...." Old Africa The Lizard of Oz satiric fantasy, "An intriguing and very entertaining little novel" Library Journal The AltaVista Search Revolution, the first consumer book about search engines (McGraw-Hill) "indispensable" Library Journal, Winner of the Distinguished Technical Communication Award, the highest award given by the Society for Technical Communication Publications. Web Business Bootcamp (Wiley) complete list at http://seltzerbooks.com/books/seltzer.html

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