Tag Archive | "Tony Blair"

Syrian Intel Identify UK Gov, Tony Blair Charity as ‘Violent Extremists’


Syrian is currently in the middle of a fairly brutal and bloody civil war.

And yet, Syrian intelligence have still managed to find the time to pompously moralize and point the finger at some of the innumerable vicious and dangerous out-for-blood extremists and fanatics who, they claim, are trying to subvert and ultimately destroy their country.

A recent Wikileak from the Damascus authorities contains the following indictment of some rather familiar faces: Read the full story

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Tony Blair Orders French Citizens not to Vote for Marine Le Pen


Former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair is appalled at the recent EU referendum decision in the UK; as well as his failed attempts to prevent Corbyn becoming, and indeed remaining, Labour leader.
A rather flustered press conference has given him an opportunity to say where people in the UK are going wrong:

Now listen. Some there be who’d say our track record on successful interventions is rather far from shoddy by any means!
I mean, let’s look at it like this, there isn’t any real need for me to talk in detail…
About how we peacefully liberated the whole of Iraq, assisted with David Cameron’s dethroning of Gaddafi, and held the self-styled Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi’s feet to the fire by calling for ground troops against Daesh.
But our intervention in the EU referendum seems to have taken a peculiar turn. Not one person can ever say with a clear conscience that our intervention in Iraq, under our premiership, did half as much harm as reactionary pacifists are claiming about us.
And we simply have no conception of why our instructions to vote against Jeremy Corbyn were so poorly received. What could possibly account for this? If you don’t want to listen to us now, you ought not to have voted for us in the first place. Look at all we have done for you. We personally have liberated the Middle East, stopped the Serbians from committing genocide, oh and don’t forget Sierra Leone.
Well? What more could a socially conscious British citizen POSSIBLY want from us, in terms of public policy?! Oh and there were a few little things like the minimum wage and social housing too; they may not be of quite such critical and earthshattering importance, but we suppose they have their place.
There is simply no accounting for it at all. Nothing could be more unexpected and shocking that we, I mean we personally, y’know, could instruct the British people on where they were going wrong, and they should just plough on ahead and defy our will!
We mean, such unprecedented and inexplicable arrogance, spite and hubris is simply beyond all comprehension!
Still, never mind, eh? We am, er, we are, going to instruct the French not to vote for Marine Le Pen.
Now, we am quite sure that will just work a treat!

http://satiricalindustrialcomplex.blogspot.com/2017/02/blair-appalled-his-recent.html

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An ‘Inconvenient’ Parable


I wish Tony Blair would just go away.

He’s like a clingy one night stand that keeps calling you up every now and then at 3 am, completely out of the blue, in order to tell you who much he loves you and giving you unsolicited advice about how to live your life and manage your affairs! Read the full story

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OUTRAGE! ISIS/ISIL/IS/Daesh Tabloid Rag INCENSED by ‘Insulting’ Offer from ‘Greasy’ Tony Blair Faith Foundation ‘Charity’


• Blair’s chaplain confirms that former PM is ‘deeply wounded, not literally of course’ by the Islamist SNUB
• Dafiq editorial staff refuse to comment

Edgy ISIS/Daesh hipster black-top Dafiq has been hitting the headlines (and not just their own, either) lately for all the wrong reasons.

After recent wars of bylines and tweets with Gary Johnson’s campaign staff (no, us neither) and Chavezista hagiographical bioblographer Federico ‘Humala’ Acosta, they made their biggest PR misstep to date by choosing to publish an EXCLUSIVE editorial excoriating the popular former British PM and notable Kosovan expat Tonibler Jeorjbushi. Read the full story

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Thanks for Following SIC October Surprise Data Dump! Next Stop: Blair Fawkes Night!


Although the Peace Criminals Project (Wallace Runnymede) is separate from and indeed unaffiliated with Glossy News (Brian K. White), I play a substantial role in both of these separate projects. Recently here at Glossy News, I spoke of the Peace Criminals Project’s massive ‘October Surprise Data Dump’ at the Satirical-Industrial Complex (SIC) site.

What’s next? Well, November 5 is Guy Fawkes Night, here in the UK. So, in order to bestow a fitting tribute to the proverbial ‘only man to ever enter parliament with good intentions,’ I am running a ‘Blair Fawkes Night’ at SIC! Read the full story

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Blair Giving His Chilcot Excuses: Must-Watch Leaked Video!


As ‘We’ all know and agree, Tony Blair is a strong leader in a tight spot, who just did what he had to do!

But what are his top 30 rationalizations for the Iraq war?

And more pertinently still…

Can ‘We’ ever get him to just stop at 30?!

Enjoy this video of phony Tony floundering and squirming. (A little bit twitchy and hurriedly-flustered in tone, surprisingly enough!) Read the full story

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30 Good Excuses for Tony Blair After Chilcot


1. It was all John Major’s fault.

2. It was all Saddam Hussein’s fault.

3. Divine intervention (more or less the right kind). Read the full story

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The Night Before Chilcot (A Poem for the Children)


Twas the night before Chilcot, when all through the nation
The people were pondering the Iraq abomination
Our hopes were all pinned to a gallows in London
Our desire was that Chilcot would damn, with abundance! Read the full story

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Blair/Corbyn Pre-Chilcot ‘Worthy Fluff’ War Bores Living Shite out of UK


Notable public figure and achingly dynamic charisma-dripper Anthony ‘Phony Tony’ Blair has recently take the time and effort to patiently educate his arrogant, bigoted, pleb scum enemies where they are going wrong…

Why, I just have no idea why these stuck up, racist, nationalist, isolationist bigots worry about thousands or dead Iraqis when Tony Blair actually had REALLY, REALLY GOOD INTENTIONS! Read the full story

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Charismatic Leader Quiz: Who Said It? Hitler or Tony Blair? (Part 2)


1 And just as [they] seek to divide humanity in hate, so we have to unify it around an idea.

2. When he decides, he divides.

3. In the life of nations, what in the last resort decides questions is a kind of Judgment Court of God.

4. If freedom is short of weapons, we must compensate with willpower.

5. That’s the art of leadership. To make sure that what shouldn’t happen, doesn’t happen.

6. I want war. To me all means will be right.

7. Nobody is oppressing you. Your sense of grievance isn’t justified.

8. Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.

9. In this day and age if you’ve got the technology then it’s vital to use that technology to track people down. The number on the database should be the maximum number you can get.

And finally…

10. Our people have never been more united than today.

Answers

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Charismatic Leader Quiz: Who Said It? Hitler or Tony Blair? (Part 1)


1 I feel the hand of history upon our shoulders.

2 I go the way that Providence dictates with the assurance of a sleepwalker.

3 This is a sort of free democratic spirit that operates outside the convention of democracy that elections decide the government.

4 Democracy will in practice lead to the destruction of a people’s true values.

5 Today’s media, more than ever before, hunts in a pack. In these modes it is like a feral beast, just tearing people and reputations to bits.

6 Let this great man search his own heart and conscience before he accuses anyone of being a warmonger.

7 But believe one thing, if nothing else. I did what I thought was right for our country.

8 Once the whole nation again pursued a great ideal, once it was prepared to stake everything for this ideal, the hour would come when the Lord would declare our trials at an end.

9 I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few.

And finally…

10 [Our country]… are special. The world knows it. In our innermost thoughts we know it. This is the greatest nation on earth.

Answers

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Alastair Campbell’s Divorce Leads to Contentious Intervention from Blair


Alastair Campbell’s divorce is hardly the highlight of his recent years. In the recent divorce proceedings, his wife said:

My Alastair used to be a lovely lad. So modest, so honest, and with a heart of gold.

But ever since he started hanging around with that nasty boy from elsewhere, he began to change. After he got into bad company, Alastair started sneering at me and making catty comments.

Over time, he became ever more abrasive and dismissive, like some tinpot Peter Capaldi, or someone of that ilk. And needless to say, he kept leaving his dinner plate and half-finished cups of Earl Grey at his arse and expecting me to clear up after him, like I was his bloody lowland skivvy!

He has just become impossible to live with.

Campbell responded: Read the full story

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Frank Turner Song Parody: Tony F***ed the Country!


Whatever happened to Britain?
It’s like we’re scared of phantom enemies to the point of bedpissin’
Even if the danger is minor
The press and gov scaremonger
With their endless agitprop bullshit!

Yo, bigot! Anyone who looks less white than you
Makes you wonder if they’re immigrants or Muslims or Jews
But I’m tired of the endless hatred
And yet the media hacks are always stirring shit! Read the full story

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Blair: My Critics on Iraq Should Check Their Privilege! (2/2)


The problem isn’t so much about not listening to voters.

No, the problem is when the views of mere fallible, imperfect, and often downright ignorant and uneducated voters of mere mortal flesh and blood are…

I mean, the problem is when the mundanely average common man’s prejudices are somehow, you know, treated as some kind of abstract, default, standard, disreputably vanillaesque norm…

Yes, the problem is the tyranny of all these merely opportunistic and ignorant assumptions which are, as it were, you see, for some mysteriously undisclosed reason or another, to be somehow considered as ‘common sense.’

Read the full story

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Blair: My Critics on Iraq Should Check Their Privilege! (1/2)


Dynamic and charismatic political figure Tony Blair has recently made another helpful intervention, in order to clear up any confused ideas any mere ‘ordinary people’ may be stubbornly clinging to.

Yes, the former Middle East peace envoy and architect of innumerable sweepingly successful and highly lauded humanitarian interventions…

Has recently been so kind as to educate his foolish and benighted critics on where they are going wrong.

Assuming an uncustomarily longwinded and pedagogical stance, Blair twitched: Read the full story

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Blair, Berlusconi Salute Blatter’s Character and Integrity


The recent revival of the Sepp Blatter affair http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/33303066

has led two of the former FIFA President’s most faithful allies business partners supporters to pay tribute..

To this leading light of international gamesmanship…

Uh, ‘sport.’

Tony Blair said:

People are criticizing Blatter now, but as I always say, ‘it’s not over ‘til it’s over.’ Just let History be the judge. Read the full story

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