Categorized | World News

God Warns the Donald He’s Not Getting Any Private Revelations

God Warns the Donald He’s Not Getting Any Private Revelations

Like The Blues Brothers, George W Bush famously went to Iraq on a ‘mission from God.’

Same, of course for Tony Blair! Even if, unlike Wallace Runnymede, Tony Blair definitely, definitely, definitely ‘Shouldn’t Do God.’

But now Tough-Guy Tangerine Surprise Donald J Trump is being friendzoned by God.

God says:

Man! I must have been really off my tits on the Mount Kailash moonshine, when I decided to give a private revelation to George ‘n’ Tony; of all the bigoted, superstitious assholes in the world! Sorry, but sometimes, when we’ve had a bit of Olympian nectar we do shit we regret; hell, we’ve been all there!

(Except that stuck-up Allah asshole. Fuck that guy!)

But I mean, yeah. Look how well things went the last time. Next time a US President asks me what I want him to do, I’m just gonna say: “Hm… I don’t know, son. Maybe ask your mother.”

Donald Trump was about to furiously denounce this as ‘More FAKE NEWS from the DISHONEST FAKE NEWS MEDIA!!!!!!!!’

At least until Ivanka told him he could now skip going to Church even for the next few decades in retaliation.

Let’s hope this massive spiritual arms race doesn’t escalate any further…

By Boss TweedFlickr, CC BY 2.0, Link


This post was written by

- who has written 531 posts on

Sub-editor of Glossy News Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! You can buy my satire and poetry ebooks from many online stores, including Amazon.


Leave a Reply

We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
We Made a Movie!

Check us out on Kickstarter!

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial