Tag Archive | "socialism"

Here Come the Trots! The Best Trotskyite Chat-Up Lines for Discerning Middle-Class Bachelors


Everybody loves a good Trot.

These lovers have got it all:

Sobriety, solemnity, petit-bourgeois decency, and best of all…

An utter crapload of unrelieved sexual frustration!

I coulda said ‘planet-sized intellect’ too, but…

Nah!

Have a go with these and see how much progress you actually make…

Who’s hot to Trot?

And who do women need like a hole in the head? Read the full story

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Top StoriesComments (0)

Trots Vs Tories: Is this the Only Possible Option?


In a well developed economy, you can’t have wealth without reasonable distribution. You can’t have reasonable distribution without wealth.
This leads to only one reasonable conclusion:

Read the full story

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Posted in Serious CommentaryComments (0)

The Socialist Shirkers Party


NOTE FROM WALLACE: 

Thanks to M.C. Newberry for permitting republication of his poem as a guest post here at Glossy News!

***

You’ll find them among most types of mob

With shuttered mind and open gob.

You’d be forgiven for wondering what they do for a living

When they prefer to be taking rather than giving. Read the full story

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Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

Cypriots Taxed On Their Savings- How To Really Screw Your Fellow Countrymen


Now it is the island nation of Cyprus’s time to come under the guillotine of economic bankruptcy.

The only difference with their bankers way of dealing with it is that, instead of doing it in the U.S. fashion of taking the needed money from what the government holds in taxpayer money the Cypriot financial wizards are simply charging a tax directly to people who have accounts in their banks that are failing. Read the full story

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Posted in Biz NewsComments (2)

America’s New Dirty Words Are No Longer Four Letters Long


Merriam Webster Online, one of the worlds most famous English dictionaries, has announced that the most looked up words online this year were ‘socialism’ and ‘capitalism’.

This just goes to show the confusion in the American public over the true meaning of these words. They have been so loosely dropped from the lips of hundreds of pundits, talk show hosts, journalists and bloggers that no one can be blamed for being confused. Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (1)

The End of Freedom in America. Blame it on the Tyranny of Obamacare


If you’re like most patriotic, big government-distrusting Americans, you are probably experiencing a range of emotions right now, from anger to rage to angerful rage. It’s a dark day in America thanks to the dreaded OBAMACARE Act of 2010, which was recently upheld by the US Supreme Court in July.

It’s just a matter of time before every last hard-fought freedom we’ve long cherished is pried out of our God-toting, gun-fearing hands – like mankind’s sacred right to be paid more than womankind. We are on the road to becoming United Socialist States of America. If you ask me, the health care plan I had was working just fine. Thanks a lot, Obamacare. Read the full story

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Posted in HealthComments (2)

The Prosperity Preschool


About this time last year, I found myself confronted with a daunting task: enrolling my son in a preschool. As all American parents know, it’s a choice upon which a child’s entire future can hinge, and requires diligence, focus, and tenacity.

I should say that I needed to enroll him in a new preschool, since, like any high-achieving three year-old, he was already attending school, and since, as with the previous schools, the current one wasn’t quite working out. Let’s say it was a disaster. Yes, the teachers were nice, the students too, but their values were utterly un-American. Read the full story

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Posted in EducationComments (2)

Open Letter to Undermining, Commie-Pinko Socialists


IMPORTANT – IF YOU ARE NOT A CARD CARRYING MEMBER OF “CONFEDERATION OF SOCIALISTS INTENT ON BRINGING DOWN THE CAPITALIST DRAGON AMERICA”, THEN DO NOT READ THIS…

Comrades!
The situation is dire!
Our plans lay fast in rubble before us!

Our goal to subjugate the great capitalistic tyrant the United States and lead them to the glories of socialism has run aground. The attempt to sneak Marx-Engels philosophies into the pattern of American politics has been uncovered again and again by the ever intrepid FOX News and their highly elite and patriotic staff. Read the full story

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, PoliticsComments (2)

How to be a FOX News ‘Spin Doctor’


SINGAPORE (GlossyNews) — Media experts have been observing a recent trend in how seemingly simple events are portrayed by our news sources. Radical interpretations of ordinary incidents in the lives of the famous seem to be going through major distortions. How we perceive events in our reality is colored by prejudices, opinions and attitudes that we already have present in our minds. Nowhere is this more evident than in the world of politics. Take an example from a day in the life of President Obama as seen by a normal person and as seen by the agents of FOX News: Read the full story

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Posted in Entertainment, SocietyComments (4)

Obama Imposes Shopping Cart Safety Measures for Kids


BALTIMORE, Maryland (GlossyNews) — The Obama Administration, in another unprecedented exercise of governmental control, has ordered the Consumer Protection Agency to implement sweeping new safety codes to protect children in shopping carts. The strict new rules will carry the force of law across America, but they are implemented by the Consumer Protection Agency – a body of appointed, not elected, officials who answer directly to the President and his cabinet.

The laws, which go into effect November 1, 2010, are designed to protect children and are based on a recent study which showed that over 24000 children are admitted to hospitals each year from accidents resulting from shopping cart incidents. While the reforms are meant to protect children, they severely hinder the rights and responsibilities of parents to control and monitor their own children’s behavior. Read the full story

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Posted in Biz News, HealthComments (0)

Gordon “Gordy” Chastain, Philanthropist, Inventor, Diplomat, Dead at Age 4


Biloxi, MS (GlossyNews) — Gordon P Chastain, better known to the world as “Gordy” Chastain has died before his time, at the age of four, due to complications from malnutrition and insufficient pediatric medical care.

The child, who was to become one of the world’s most powerful men, died in the arms of a social worker because the programs which kept him alive through to adolescence had been slashed or never funded. Read the full story

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Posted in SocietyComments (0)

When Free Cheese Isn’t Socialism


By the fireplace — I have a friend who is an unusual case in point for our present national attitudes. Let us call him ‘Sam’. If I used his real name, and he found out, he would be hurt and angry. Even though it is the truth.

Especially because it is the truth.

Sam is a real flesh and blood person. A VERY real flesh and blood person Read the full story

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Posted in Serious CommentaryComments (1)

Chavez and Castro Now Facebook Friends


Bogota North, Colombia (GlossyNews) — Posted from a secure, undisclosed location by Glossy News South American correspondent in hiding.

Sources close to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez revealed a major diplomatic coup today; Fidel Castro has accepted Chavez’ friend request on Facebook. The ancient Cuban dictator, while not esteemed in the US, is widely respected throughout Latin America. The Castro seal of approval carries much weight among indigenous minorities who’ve long been oppressed by a succession of autocratic regimes. Read the full story

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Posted in World NewsComments (0)

Society Attains The Ideal Black Man — But Still Wants to Lynch Him.


For decades white men have been awaiting the evolution of the Black man. Usually stereotyped (by Whites) into such roles as ‘step-and-fetch-it’, submissive post-civil war Negro, or the violent, drug dealing Super Fly. We’ve been treated to the jive talking ever-hip huckster, the daughter raping threat to the community, the black power fisting Black Panther, or the gang banging, good for nothing ghetto dweller.

For decades there were no other images available to represent Black males in America society until recently. The cultural, hard working, intelligent representatives, who should have been role models, such as the Washington Carvers, the Langston Hughes, and the Frederick Douglases were seen as being freaks or abnormalities. Read the full story

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Documents Show Auschwitz Death Camp Doctors Living on Food Stamps


WARSAW, Poland (GlossyNews) — Archaeologists working to better understand the reign of Hitler and his Third Reich have discovered food coupons for some of the notorious SS doctors at the Auschwitz death camp, including the sadistic Dr. Joseph Mengele. Read the full story

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Glenn Beck Credits Himself for Predicting Recent Wave of Violence


Pahrump, NV In one of his many “I told you so” moments, Glenn Beck has commented that he is the first one to tell his viewers that violence against the US government by fed up citizens was going to start to happen.

Boasting a 100% accuracy rate, Beck claimed that he is a hundred times better at predicting things than any psychic. “For years, I’ve been telling my viewers how fed up they are and how screwed they should feel, and now, after this past election, how I thought things were going to get ugly. Read the full story

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Posted in TelevisionComments (0)

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