Tag Archive | "Kim Jong-Un"

Glossy News Classics X: Dexter Sinistri’s “Kim Jong Un Can Fix North Korea, And Here’s How”


Since the death of his father, Kim Jong Il, Kim the third has struggled to establish what kind of leader he is. If he’s smart, or even just sagely selfish, he’ll open the country and become the richest man on the planet.

The black market is growing there and it threatens to overtake the legitimate, state-controlled markets. The difference is that there are no taxes collected from the ever-growing black market, regardless of how many bribes are collected daily to look the other way. Read the full story

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Posted in Serious Commentary, Top StoriesComments (0)

North Korean Jokes (As Though The Country Isn’t Enough Of a Joke On Its Own).


North Korean Jokes (As Though The Country Isn’t Enough Of a Joke On Its Own).

Why did the North Koreans run over the border to eat South Korean’s lawns?
They heard the grass was greener on the other side.

How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?
Three – One to hold another on his shoulders to change it and one to explain what a light bulb is in the first place.

Why should we not be afraid of a North Korean H bomb?
Because they would have to use a fishing boat to deliver it and they never make it beyond fifty miles off shore. Read the full story

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Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

Our Crowdfunded North Korea Movie is Chugging Along, but it Needs Your Help


Kim Jong-Un is reportedly flipping his shit since the wide release of “The Interview”, which even his most dastardly designs did nothing to diminish.

We’re about halfway done filming ours, and I must say, it… looks… amazing. “The Interview” was pure Hollywood, but ours aims to really take the piss out of him and his absurd hermit kingdom.

Here is a pre-pre-trailer to show you what we’ve got so far, but if you scroll down far enough and read things close enough, you’ll get to see an actual clip from the movie to show you what we’re doing. Read the full story

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics, Video NewsComments (6)

Justifiable Justice – Making the Punishment Ergonomic with the Crime


Punishments for crime have become rote in our modern society.

A person can murder any number of people and still be allowed to live his life out even though he is less that worthless to the society which allows him to survive.

Monsters on the international level can create atrocities for which they are not condemned.

Irresponsible pundits appear on the world stage who wreck havoc with in their own lands and yet are able to convince their fellow citizens that they are heroes. Read the full story

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Posted in Strange PeopleComments (5)

Firing Squad, North Korea Satire Movie Both Ready to Shoot (Videos)


There are those who quake in their boots at the thought of upsetting sweaty North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. We are not among them.

Thumbing our noses is the least of what we’re doing. Unlike “The Interview” ours will be a non-stop biting satire. We’re not focused primarily on the American’s involvement, but almost exclusively on those within North Korea.

It’s a hermit Kingdom and it’s a fascinating place. Very little news gets out but our team of writers has been hammering on this to craft a clever script. We’ve amassed a hell of a crew and we’re planning to start shooting actual screen footage in the next ten days. Read the full story

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Video NewsComments (3)

Kimmy’s Hate Train Still Boarding Passengers


North Korean dictator and renowned chunky monkey Kim Jong Un continues on his world famous crazy train picking up more passengers at every stop.

We’re making a North Korea satire film. Click here to help our fundraising!

Not content with detonating possibly real nuclear devices and bombing the hell out of random waters in the Sea of Japan, Kimmy has expanded his narrow horizons. Read the full story

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Posted in Video News, World NewsComments (0)

Nightmares Prompt Kim Jong-un to Take Up Zumba


Apparently, fear of his dead father is resurfacing in a big way and has been keeping N. Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-un up nights for well over a year now.

The leader is said to be suffering from an ongoing bout of the vapors, leaving him feeling puny and out of sorts.

A recurring nightmare finds the North Korean leader face-to-face with his not-so-dead father who is taking the pudgy little tyrant to task for not being such a tyrant after all. Read the full story

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Posted in World NewsComments (1)

America Responds To Kim Jong Un; “Thank You For Saving Us From Watching This Stupid Stoner Movie”


Americans were especially thankful to North Korea and Kim Jong Un this Holiday season for saving them from watching yet another stupid pot-head movie.

“It saved me ten bucks in ticket prices and another eight in popcorn and soda,” stated John Gawker from Greeley Colorado. “Watching movies like this is like riding a sled downhill and purposely plowing into trees! It gives you the same sort of headache.” Read the full story

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Posted in Politics, Talky PicturesComments (3)

Sony Counter-Hacks North Korea: All 23 Computers Go Dark


On December 21st the entire Internet in North Korea was shut down by a major cyber attack. (Note- a major cyber attack in the Communist state would be the equivalent of accidentally pulling out your plug on an old Commodore computer in any other country, say Peru). Read the full story

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Posted in Politics, Talky PicturesComments (3)

North Korea Bankrupt After Costs from Sony Hack


North Korea has gone bankrupt from its massive hacking assault on Sony Pictures.

The intrusion into the depths of Sony’s Corporation was ignited by their new film ‘The Interview’ which features two bumbling tabloid newsmen who are given the mission of assassinating North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un.

This indiscretion infuriated the real Jong Un who immediately funneled the entire countries anemic economy into the hacking barrage that exposed many of Sony’s secret files including high level employee wages (which shocked Jong Un in that one executive’s salary alone equals the entire gross national product of North Korea for a year), insulting emails about famous stars (which also encindered the Prez as some were about his secret fantasy love Jennifer Aniston), and photos of Seth Rogen in his underwear (which the Exalted One kept for his private collection). Read the full story

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Posted in Talky Pictures, War ZoneComments (0)

Sony Pulls Out Just before Big Release


Just over a week before the climactic release of Sony Picture’s “The Interview” starring Seth Rogan and James Franco, the studio has decided to pull out.

Sony has received a serious pounding after hackers gained access to the back door of the movie studio’s network.

With releases of salaries, social security numbers, and AIM exchanges, Sony’s stock is experiencing shrinkage as hackers are expected to tear further into the private sections of Sony’s database. Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, CrimeComments (2)

Kim Jong-un Rejects Peace Offering: Guarantees Death to Rogen, Franco, America


Pyongyang, North Korea – Co-stars for the upcoming film, The Interview, James Franco and Seth Rogen find themselves boiling in a scalding cauldron of steamy garlic butter this week after their recent peace offering to North Korean Leader, Kim Jong-un, failed to compensate for the unfavorable plot in the film.

“Whenever you make a movie about killing a highly revered leader of another country, especially one that follows a Communist regime, there is going to be breadlash,” said International Film Analyst, Henry Sourdough. Read the full story

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Posted in Talky Pictures, War ZoneComments (2)

New Pet Food Triggers Outrage; Breadsticks for Kim Jong-un?


Damascus, Iowa – A new line of products released by Pet Food Enterprises, Inc., that was intended to provide humor and admiration over the recent extinction of Olive Garden restaurants and the late breadsticks offered complimentary with the purchase of any entrée, has completely backfired. Read the full story

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Posted in Human Interest, Science & TechnologizzyComments (4)

Kim Jong-un Diagnosed w/ Breast Cancer; Citizens Forced to Cry or be Shot


It was early spring of 2014 when the savior of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, was enjoying his three course meal in complete tranquility, an annual source of food considered by his people.

To everyone’s surprise, later that day, it was established that their royalty and highness had been diagnosed with severe breast cancer.

Military leaders proposed for him to consider launching a nuclear warning, something to frighten enemy countries, but not really do anything else because they were “so messed up economically and ideologically”. All military leaders that agreed with the statement were later executed for treason. Read the full story

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Posted in War Zone, World NewsComments (1)

North/South Korea Talks Falter, Cancel Family Reunion


High level negotiations establishing a reunion for separated families in North and South Korea broke down Wednesday over a miscommunication on venue.

After several weeks it was believed representatives had agreed to hold the event at Disney World this August and included a talent show, karaoke and a Korean War reenactment for children under 12.

However, North Korean diplomats balked when the South Korean delegates consistently mentioned Orlando Florida. Read the full story

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Posted in Travel, World NewsComments (0)

North Korean Crimes Against Humanity Almost as Bad as US


The United Nations declared today that atrocities committed by North Korea Security chiefs and possibly even president Kim Jong-un are so horrendous they could be compared to how the US treats prisoners at Guantanamo, Abu Graib and other ‘secret’ prisons around the world.

“This kind of behavior does not belong in a civilized society!” declared Michael Kirby, chairman of the U.N. Commission of Inquiry.

Kirby claims that North Korean prisoners are being denied due process, starved, are frequently beaten and denied health care much like prisoners at Guantanamo.

“Other countries are supposed to do as we say, not as we do”, said Cori Crider, Guantanamo Counsel and Strategic Director.

Crider would not comment on the other ‘secret prisons’ the US has around the world simply saying “that’s not my job”

In addition, the committee expressed concern over North Korea’s growing nuclear arsenal claiming it resembles a tiny version of the US nuclear arsenal.

“Granted, they have only one ten thousandth the strength of our nuclear arsenal but we are us and they are them”, said Brigadier General Les More, an Air Force spokesman. “It comes down to US vs THEM. And US always wins!”

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