Tag Archive | "humor"

GlossyNews May Podcast (The May-Day/Amsterdam Edition)


The 4K/UHD podcast is back with a whole new bunch of crazy, fun stuff, this time from Amsterdam.

Amsterdamn, or as they call it in New York, York, is a fun, crazy, exciting place.

* What does a late-night informercial look like in Amsterdam? The answer may surprise you, or it may not… it’s pretty adult.

* Exclusive interview with Dan Geddes of www.TheSatirist.com.

* What makes Amsterdam such a great place? Read the full story

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When Donald Met Nigel (A Comic Dialogue in Two Annoying Parts)


NOTE FROM WALLACE: Welcome Appleseed Ike, of Satirical Industrial Complex! This is Ike’s first piece for Glossy News.

***

When you hear about a meeting between Donald and Nigel you’d stereotypically picture two ageing, dogmatic men. What happens is far worse than a stereotype.

D- Hey British guy, why don’t you start by telling me about your crooked plan to get rid of Theresa May… not be very good for Britain. Ha. They can’t imagine it! Sad.

N- Well, it’s quite genius really. First you show some turbulence between the USA and Britain. This will create worry and confusion because of Brexit…

D- I love Brexit. Awesome! They tell me about Brexit. I know Brexit. Nobody does Brexit better than the Donald. Read the full story

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Posted in Politics, World NewsComments (0)

Glossy News March Winners Announced


For reasons unknown, we’re still running the $250 satire contest for our writers. Here are your March winners.

The Top Ten

#10 – Facing Extinction, Olive Garden Traces Dinosaur’s Demise For Answers by FreeMann. Just goes to show that sometimes breadsticks can indeed be funny. Read the full story

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Posted in Internets TubesComments (7)

Comedians debate the Nature of Satire


Dateline: MONTREAL—Comedians gathered around an enormous round table at the World Comedy Festival to try to answer once and for all the perennial question of whether satire is supposed to be serious or funny.

According to the comedian Lawrence Flappapuss, satire is mainly about making people laugh. “Satirists make fun of things, so satire’s got to be funny,” he said. “Satire should be as funny as physical comedy. That’s why I combine the two in my act.”
Read the full story

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Posted in ComicsComments (5)

Scientific Study Proves Cats Have No Sense of Humor (comic)


Sometimes you make a joke and it’s almost like your dog is right there with you. He doesn’t know what you said, but he’s in the moment. He gets it… the same can be said of cats precisely zero times ever in the history of the earth.

Sorry cats, but scientifically, you just you just don’t have a funny bone. This comic explains what cats actually do find funny, and how they explain it to one another. Read the full story

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Satire Editor Turns 39, Knows Not What to Do


Ten years ago Glossy News founder Brian White had the unlikely opportunity to turn 29, and I did it, but once and only once. Today he turns 39, and likewise, promises never to do it again. Just too painful.

Back then Glossy News had a diligent, vigilant editor named Mark Fisher working with me. He’s a very funny guy, and a successful guy too, so it’s no wonder he had the good sense to move on. It’s not like they dated or anything, at least not that either of them will admit. Read the full story

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Posted in Internets TubesComments (6)

Westboro Baptist Church Plans to Protest Itself


Westboro Baptist Church members will be staying in Topeka, Kansas this Sunday to stage what they are calling their most important protest to date. They are going to be protesting themselves.

A statement issued by Westboro leader, Fred Phelps claims that the congregation is running out of funds to protest funerals across America, and the church is therefore re-thinking their strategy. In addition, he claims they came to the conclusion that “the gay thing” might be hitting a little too close to home, but would not elaborate. Read the full story

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Posted in ReligionismComments (4)

Massive Sinkhole Threatens to Rip Florida in Half


Tampa, FL – Mildred and Juan Scoleri were outdoors on their patio surveying the excavation work that the pool company had just finished before laying the foundation for the pool they’ve been saving for ever since Juan was still working three janitor jobs and one on the side to make ends meet. It was a dream come true; however, that dream has now turned into a nightmare. The entire state of Florida, with the exception of the lower keys, is suing the Scoleris for what they call “the total destruction of the foundation of Florida!” Read the full story

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State Mottos Change in Several States This Year to Attract Tourism


States are constantly re-inventing themselves this time of year, vying for tourist dollars. The better the state motto on license plates and brochures, the more interest they can garner, which translates into more visitors come spring and summer.

Still, some states never get it. Try as they might, their states just aren’t so great, and they ultimately end up with mediocre mottos. Here are some of our favorites of the new batch. Read the full story

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Posted in Human InterestComments (0)

Head Games: High-Tech Gladiator Games Coming to Social Media


For those of you who find most of their free time being eaten up on social media, but miss the old days where gladiator-style competition reigned supreme, Zygma introduces a simple fix.

Now you and your online friends can spend hours facing off against each other in a multi-level game in which feelings will be hurt, relationships ruined, and if you’re really lucky, actual blood spilled. Read the full story

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Posted in Internets TubesComments (1)

Woman Claims “It Is What It Is” Wasn’t What It Was


A New Jersey woman has brought charges against a local yoga instructor for misleading her into believing a simple saying could solve most of her life problems.

In her complaint, Marilyn Johnson, a hairdresser from Hoboken, claims that Karma, aka Karen Smith, a yoga instructor, had repeatedly told her “it is what it is” whenever she would ask Karma about her various problems, whether at work or at home. Read the full story

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Posted in Human InterestComments (4)

Satirical News Article Solves U.S. Gun Violence Problem


FAIRFAX, VA – The contentious issue of gun control in the U.S. appears to have been fully resolved today, following the on-line publication of a satirical news article which instantly united advocates on both sides of the issue with its brilliant wit and insight.

The satirical news article, which combined the irreverent humor of The Onion with the sharp comedic incisiveness of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, had gun rights defenders and gun control advocates nodding their heads in laughter and agreement. Read the full story

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Posted in SocietyComments (5)

Mitt Romney Places Personal Ad in Wall Street Journal for ‘Friend’


Former GOP Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney took out a classified ad today in the Wall Street Journal seeking a new friend to “pal around with.”

“I have everything money can buy,” Romney said in an interview, “but I have never really taken the time to buy myself a good friend that I can just hang out with, watch the game with and just, you know, do friend things with.”

Think you know the Bible? Take the GlossyNews Unbeatable Bible Quiz!

The classified ad states that the friend must have at least a graduate degree in either political science or economics, be financially secure, Mormon and married with at least two children. Read the full story

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Holy Lord, We’re the 2nd Longest Running Satire Site


“Holy tap-dancing Christ,” said editor Brian K. White on Monday, when he realized that GlossyNews.com is in fact the second longest running satire site on the internet.

“There were so many greats that came before us, and sure it was just by a narrow margin, but they did beat us,” said White. “And I know a lot of the other ones fell [offline], but I didn’t realize it was down to just us and The Onion.” Read the full story

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Posted in Internets TubesComments (7)

Chick-fil-A Manager Hugs Customer Inappropriately


Raleigh, NC – Dennis Mitchell of Raleigh, NC claims he knew nothing about the controversy surrounding Chick-fil-A when he walked into a local store to purchase an order of chicken nuggets and a drink.

“All of a sudden, here comes the manager of the store from behind the counter, grabbing me and telling me ‘Thank you so much for your support. This means so much to me.’”

Mitchell claims the man looked like he was going to start kissing him, so he pushed the manager to the side, and ran out of the store without his lunch order.

“It was weird man. Was that guy gay or what?”

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Steroid Use Gets Satirist Banned from Covering 2012 Olympics


Johnny B. Rotten, a writer who makes his living making fun of the people who make the world an interesting place to live, has officially been banned from covering the 2012 Olympic Games in London. Rotten is accused of illegal use of steroids while penning some articles leading up to the games.

“He is completely out of his mind when he’s on steroids,” claims one writer who, before now, had nothing but the utmost respect for one of the best satirists in America. Read the full story

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Posted in Sports, World NewsComments (8)

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