Babies Need to Cry it Out?! … What About Parents….

Tulsa, OK—Citing her husband’s fussiness and inability to self-soothe, local mother Cindy Perkins has employed the controversial ‘cry-it-out’ method on husband Duane.

While some in the parenting community feel ‘cry-it-out’ is inhumane toward husbands, Cindy’s friends and family support her decision and agree that Duane’s slow development as a spouse is probably due to Cindy’s heretofore overly-nurturing approach.

“I think Cindy’s problems with Duane started in the first weeks of fatherhood,” explained best friend Deb Johnson, who went on to describe how Perkins’s solution to Duane’s failure to cope with parenthood was to place him in front of the television and let him nurse from a bottle of beer.

This leniency, Johnson believes, led the 1,508 week-old boy to develop a dependency on both TV and alcohol, which negatively impacted his ability to perform even the most fundamental parenting tasks.

While some literature sources and blogs recommend that wives try to help wean husbands off their poor habits by substituting them with more engaging activities such as fantasy sports, Perkins has opted for a hardline strategy, believing that Duane’s poor behavior is so ingrained, it must be wholly exorcised if he expects to achieve independence one day.

Her strategy now involves locking Duane in the nursery for increasingly longer stretches, in hopes that one day he will cease whimpering and whining and begin engaging in behaviors associated with big boy fathers such as changing diapers and reading to daughter Jessica.

While Perkins admits that it pains her to sit idly and listen to the loud moans and curse-filled tirades of her 348-month-old boy, she believes the benefits will begin to surface soon.

She’s hoping Duane will be well on his way to maturity by the time he begins community college when he turns thirty-two in a few years.

Author: Nick Swartz

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